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Chapters (25)
  1. Cover
  2. Half Title
  3. By the same author
  4. Title
  5. Dedication
  6. Wilfred Owen Award Speech
  7. Democracy
  8. Mountain Language
  9. The Disappeared
  10. The New World Order
  11. One for the Road
  12. The Old Days
  13. Press Conference
  14. An Open Letter to the Prime Minister
  15. House of Commons Speech
  16. God Bless America
  17. American Football
  18. Iraq Debate, Imperial War Museum
  19. The “Special Relationship”
  20. The Bombs
  21. Ashes to Ashes
  22. Weather Forecast
  23. After Lunch
  24. Meeting
  25. Death

NICOLAS (cont.) Do you think waving fingers in front of people’s eyes is silly? I can see your point. You’re a man of the highest intelligence. But would you take the same view if it was my boot—or my penis? Why am I so obsessed with eyes? Am I obsessed with eyes? Possibly. Not my eyes. Other people’s eyes. The eyes of people who are brought to me here. They’re so vulnerable. The soul shines through them. Are you a religious man? I am. Which side do you think God is on? I’m going to have a drink.

He goes to sideboard, pours whiskey.

NICOLAS (cont.) You’re probably wondering where your wife is. She’s in another room.

He drinks.

NICOLAS (cont.) Good-looking woman.

He drinks.

NICOLAS (cont.) God, that was good.

He pours another.

NICOLAS (cont.) Don’t worry, I can hold my booze.

He drinks.

NICOLAS (cont.) You may have noticed I’m the chatty type. You probably think I’m part of a predictable, formal, long-established pattern; i.e., I chat away, friendly, insouciant, I open the batting, as it were, in a lighthearted, even carefree manner, while another waits in the wings, silent, introspective, coiled like a puma. No, no. It’s not quite like that. I run the place. God speaks through me. I’m referring to the Old Testament God, by the way, although I’m a long way from being Jewish. Everyone respects me here. Including you, I take it? I think that is the correct stance.

Pause.

NICOLAS (cont.) Stand up.

Victor stands.

NICOLAS (cont.) Sit down.

Victor sits.

NICOLAS (cont.) Thank you so much.

Pause.

NICOLAS (cont.) Tell me something. . . .

Silence.

NICOLAS (cont.) What a good-looking woman your wife is. You’re a very lucky man. Tell me . . . one for the road, I think. . . .

He pours whiskey.

NICOLAS (cont.) You do respect me, I take it?

He stands in front of Victor and looks down at him. Victor looks up.

NICOLAS (cont.) I would be right in assuming that?

Silence.

VICTOR (quietly) I don’t know you.

NICOLAS But you respect me.

VICTOR I don’t know you.

NICOLAS Are you saying you don’t respect me?

Pause.

NICOLAS (cont.) Are you saying you would respect me if you knew me better? Would you like to know me better?

Pause.

NICOLAS (cont.) Would you like to know me better?

VICTOR What I would like . . . has no bearing on the matter.

NICOLAS Oh yes it has.

Pause.

NICOLAS (cont.) I’ve heard so much about you. I’m terribly pleased to meet you. Well, I’m not sure that pleased is the right word. One has to be so scrupulous about language. Intrigued. I’m intrigued. Firstly because I’ve heard so much about you. Secondly because if you don’t respect me you’re unique. Everyone else knows the voice of God speaks through me. You’re not a religious man, I take it?