“Suit up, men, it’s diaper time!” Espinosa announced. “Look alive here. These are onesies. They’re for the young little ones. These are threesies, these are sixies, and these bad boys are for those chunky ones at the end. Take your pick. For those of you who are not experienced in this endeavor, pay attention. Boys pee up, girls pee down, so unless you want a snootful, cover the boy’s doohickey until you are ready to button him up. I’ll give you a brief demonstration. These are called Wet Ones. You wipe their bums and their…privates with them. You then discard all the Wet Ones in this bag right here. Messy poo poo stinks after a while. Watch!”

Ted, Jack, and Harry watched in awe as Espinosa carefully undid a baby’s diaper and reared back. “This is what I mean by a smeary one. You use your wrist, making sure you get everywhere you’re supposed to get, and then you lift up this end, slide the diaper down, tug it into place, peel the tabs, and wallah, the baby now has on fresh pants.”

“Oh, God, I don’t want to do this. I can’t do this!” Harry pleaded.

“Just breathe through your mouth, Harry,” Jack said as he swiped and wiped and peeled. “Two down. You need a bigger sack here, Espinosa,” he said when he was finished with his fourth diaper.

“Coming right up! See, that wasn’t so bad, now was it?”

“I bet we could streamline this process,” Ted said.

“Shut up, Ted. If it ain’t broke, we ain’t fixing it. We did it. And it only took us twenty-five minutes. That’s one minute per baby. Well, maybe nine-tenths of a minute, since there are twenty-six babies here,” Jack said. “When do they go to sleep?”

“Usually after they get their bath, but we aren’t going to be doing any bathing, so relax, gentlemen. Although, I have to say, it is a very rewarding and bonding experience. That’s why I am so close to my brothers and sisters. So, to answer your question, any minute now they should be nodding off.” Espinosa pointed to the two babies at the end of a row who were already sleeping peacefully.

“Why do I feel like I just did fifty laps around a track?” Jack said, lying down on the floor. “A baby is a lot of work. Twenty-six babies is a hell of a lot of work. How much time do we have before they wake up again?”