“Kill him now, Jack, or I will. Why can’t you just say after they crap in their pants? Huh? Why can’t you say that? We’re grown men. We understand about crapping in your drawers. No one says messy poo poo. No one!” Harry bellowed.

“Because, Mr. Wong, that’s what my mother used to say, and to repeat, your terminology is offensive sounding. I hope you get a really smeary one,” Espinosa sniped. He walked along the rows of wide-eyed babies, who were staring up at the four giants towering over them. “Did we all burp?” he asked cheerfully.

“Mine all burped,” Jack responded just as cheerfully.

“So did mine,” Ted said proudly.

“Harry?” Espinosa said threateningly.

“All but this one,” Harry said through clenched teeth. “Why is he holding out?”

“Shift him a little higher so his belly is on your shoulder. Pat him just a little harder,” Espinosa replied.

Grimacing, Harry did as instructed. The loud belch ricocheted around the room. Harry looked at the little bundle in awe. He nodded to Espinosa to concede that he was indeed the undisputed authority on babies.

“How old do you think these kids are, Espinosa? How are we going to know which kid belongs to which set of adoptive parents?” Jack asked.

“They range from about two months to maybe six or seven months. The ones here at the end can almost hold their own bottles. They’re all wearing ankle bands. See, the kid’s name is on each one. It will be up to the girls to figure the rest out. Maggie has the list, and she knows who belongs to whom. She was supposed to call all the adoptive parents earlier today. I don’t know if she did or not, since our phones went out.”

Suddenly all the cell phones in the room rang, pealed, chirped, or sang, as did the phone in the kitchen. The babies as one started to howl their displeasure at the invasion of their solitude. And there was no shutting them up.

When the four giants moved off in different directions, the babies howled louder.

“I have to go, Nik. I’ll call you back,” Jack shouted.

“I had it under control until you called, Alexis,” Espinosa shouted.

“What? What? I can’t talk now. I have to clean up messy poo poo,” Harry cried. “You heard me!”

“Wow! That took guts, Harry!” Jack said before he danced out of the way.

“Listen, Maggie, I don’t care how big the bonus is, this sucks. Cats I can handle. Cleaning a litter box I can handle. I cannot handle shitty diapers. Good-bye and do not call me again,” Ted said, slamming his cell shut.