“It’s been weeks, hasn’t it?” Clarabelle continued and laughed. “It’s probably only been a few days, but it feels like it’s been weeks! I’d take that as a compliment if I were you!”

“I’ll try,” Skulduggery murmured.

Clarabelle looked back at the tubes. “Left safe, right unsafe. Safe, unsafe.”

“What’s that you’re holding?” Valkyrie asked because she had to – there was really no way around it.

“Oh, these?” beamed Clarabelle. “They’re nothing.”

“Oh.”

“They’re not really nothing though. It’s just another of the Professor’s experiments – you know how he is. But the important thing to remember is not to drink either of them. That’s what he told me. He said above all else, do not drink. So I asked him, if I did drink, which one would be worse for me? And the Professor said don’t drink. And I said yes, but if I did, and he said why would I, since he’s just told me not to? But I said yes, I know that, but just say I did drink one of them, which one would be worse for me? And he said the one in my left hand.”

“But that’s the safe one,” Valkyrie said.

“Sorry?”

“You were saying left safe, right unsafe, just a moment ago.”

“Are you sure? Are you sure it wasn’t the other way around?”

“The left one is the safe one,” Skulduggery said. “That’s what you were chanting.”

Clarabelle frowned. “I don’t really know my right hand from my left hand though.”

Skulduggery pointed. “That’s your left hand.”

“But this is the unsafe one.”

“Are you sure?”

“Practically. I’ll check.”

Before they could stop her, Clarabelle sipped from the tube in her right hand. She sloshed it around in her mouth, swallowed and nodded. “Yes,” she said happily.

“Was that the safe one?” Valkyrie asked.

“No idea,” Clarabelle said and walked on.

Kenspeckle Grouse hurried into the Emergency Room ahead of them. They walked in after him. He was brushing his white hair, his back to them. He saw them enter in the mirror he was using.

“I don’t know why I bother,” he grumbled. “I never neaten my hair. I just move it around on my head.”

“Hello, Professor,” Skulduggery said.

“I heard you were back.” Kenspeckle turned. He was wearing slacks, a blazer and a yellow bow tie. “I said to myself, it’s only a matter of time before he arrives in here, Valkyrie beside him, with another injury for me to fix. What is it this time, Valkyrie? Broken arm?”

“Just the hand.”