“But the longer you two stick around, together, the sooner someone will realise. And the holding hands is a dead giveaway.”

Harry glanced down at the hand holding Roger’s, but didn’t let go.

“Thank you for the kind advice, Cousin Eddie. And your reticence on our behalf. More than I had any right to expect from you, I’m sure. But don’t make the mistake of thinking that we’re ever going to be friends.”

“I’ll settle for allies,” I said. “We’re going to have to find a way to work together in the bad times that are coming. For the good of the family, and the world.”

“Oh, of course,” said Harry. “Anything, for the family.”

CHAPTER FIVE - These Two Baby Seals Walk into a Club . . .

CHAPTER FIVE

These Two Baby Seals Walk into a Club . . .

Visiting the family Armourer is always an interesting experience, and often an excellent chance to test how good your reflexes are. There’s always something loud and noisy going on, usually of an explosive nature, and how productive a visit you have can depend on your ability to duck and cover at speed. So when went to visit the Armoury, set deep in the bedrock under the Hall, so that when things inevitably go wrong at least the rest of the family will be protected from the awful consequences, my first surprise was how quiet and peaceful everything seemed. The Armoury is basically a long series of connected stone chambers, packed to bursting with equipment, workbenches, and testing areas. And its own adjoining infirmary, just in case.

The place seemed busy enough. Interns in stained lab coats clustered around computers and chalked pentacles, chattering animatedly with each other as they designed new, terrible things to unleash on the enemies of humanity. One young man with recent scorch marks on his coat was working industriously on a portable lightning generator, while another was cautiously testing an aerosol that could spray plague in any chosen direction. Judging by the look of him, he was still having problems with blowbacks. Giving him plenty of room, I moved on, and then looked up to see an intern walking upside down across the high stone ceiling, using boots that stuck to the stone. He waved cheerfully to those watching from below, and then one foot slipped right out of the boot, and he was left dangling precariously from the one boot still stuck to the ceiling. He called piteously for help, and another intern, with what I fervently hoped were only temporary bat wings sprouting from her back, fluttered up to assist him.

Meanwhile, half a dozen interns with the same face stood together in a tight circle, arguing fiercely over who was the original and who were the clones. And one guy sat giggling inside a glass pyramid while an endless stream of butterflies flew out of his nose. Just another day in the Armoury, basically.