He sniffed loudly. “Someone had to take charge, after you abandoned us to go play with your Time Train.” He looked disparagingly at Giles. “It took you eighteen months to find . . . him? A barbarian with a sword?”

“I am Giles Deathstalker,” said the future warrior, and there was something cold and very dangerous in his voice that shut Harry up immediately. “I am Warrior Prime to the emperor Ethur, commander of his armies, and conqueror of worlds. Do but say the word, Edwin, and I will make him kneel to you. Or I could cut off his head. I’m really quite good at that, and it just might stop him yapping.”

“A nice thought,” I said, “but leave it for later. You can forget that Patriarch crap, Harry; I’m back, and you can return to the substitutes’ bench.”

“You really think it’s going to be that easy?” said Roger, stepping forward to stand at Harry’s side. “Harry’s been running this family for over a year. The family has accepted him. What makes you think anyone wants you back in charge?”

“When I walked in, this room was full of barely suppressed hysteria and panic,” I said calmly. “Not what I’d expect from a Patriarch. And really, Harry, is this the best you could do for advisors? I wouldn’t take their advice on how to pick my nose. I swear, I take my eye off this family for five minutes, and everything goes to hell.”

“Five minutes?” said Harry. “Eighteen months! We didn’t know whether you were dead or alive, or captured, or gone over to the enemy, or ever coming back! And now you swagger back in here with a smug smile and a condescending word, and what have you got to show for it? One man!”

“One Deathstalker,” said Giles. “And that makes all the difference.”

“He’s big,” said Sebastian.

“I had noticed,” said Freddie.

“And he’s got a really big sword.”

“Best kind.”

“What happened to my Inner Circle?” I said loudly. “I chose them carefully, to represent all the voices in this family. I’m not surprised to see the Sarjeant here, hello Cyril, and Molly and Jacob are with me . . . but where, pray tell, are the very sensible Penny and our extremely experienced Uncle Jack?”

“The Armourer is back in the Armoury, where he belongs,” said Harry. “And Penny is very busy looking after those tutors you so graciously inflicted on the family. They’re popular enough, I suppose, if not especially useful. If I had to be in charge, and there was no one else, I decided I wanted my own advisors. People I could trust to see things my way, and carry out the policy I set. There’s no room for arguments during an emergency. Don’t think you can just walk back in and take over, Eddie. You had your chance, and you blew it.”