“It’s not Ivor’s fault!” Tony yelled right back at me. “He was injured by the energy beam! It’s a wonder he got us back safely at all!”

“I’ll talk to you later,” I said. I turned reluctantly back to the two Jacobs. “Eighteen months? Really? Jesus wept . . . All right, fill me in on what’s been happening. No, wait a minute; what do I call you both? You can’t both be Jacob.”

“We worked that out ages ago,” said the ghost. “I’m Jacob. He’s Jay. And since you left, everything has gone to hell in a handcart. The Loathly Ones have worked with Truman’s new and invigorated Manifest Destiny organisation to build nests and towers all across the world. There are thousands of them now. The family, under Harry’s leadership, has been working hard to stamp them out, but for every one we destroy a dozen more spring up to take its place. Soon the Loathly Ones will begin their mass summoning and bring the Hungry Gods through into our reality.”

“And then we’re screwed,” said Jay.

“Hold it, hold it,” I said. “What was that about . . . under Harry’s leadership?”

“With you gone, he took control of the family,” said Jay. “With the backing of the Matriarch. They dismissed the Inner Circle, and Harry’s been running things pretty much single-handed ever since. Him and his friend, the hellspawn.”

“And the family is losing the war,” Jacob said grimly. “Tell me at least you brought back powerful new weapons from the future.”

“I’ve got an energy gun,” I said, just a bit defensively. “The Armourer should be able to reverse engineer something useful from it . . . And I have brought back this gentleman, to advise us; the Warrior Prime Giles Deathstalker. He knows a lot about fighting wars.”

“Never lost one yet,” Giles said cheerfully. He nodded to Jacob. “Pretty good hologram, that. Though I think your focus needs fixing.”

“Don’t tell him,” I said quickly. “I think we need to introduce him slowly and carefully to the stranger parts of our family. Now, how bad are things, really?”

“Really bad,” said Jay. “The family is scattered all over the world, stamping out nests as fast as we can locate them, but there are just too many of them. Even with our new armour, it’s a hopeless task. We had no idea just how many Loathly Ones there were, or how many underground nests. They’ve been planning this for decades.”

“How long before they can begin their summoning?” said Molly.

“Three, four days, tops,” said Jacob. “You got back just in time for the end.”

“Well . . . couldn’t we use the Time Train again, go back in time another eighteen months?” said Molly. “Stop all this happening?”

“Ivor’s not going anywhere,” Tony said flatly. “I’ve got months of work ahead of me before he’ll be fit to go out again.”