“Since you and your precious Inner Circle decided you’d rather spend your time squabbling with each other, instead of getting your hands dirty with the day-to-day running of the family. I used to work here, before I had delusions of being a field agent, and when I got back from that major clusterfuck in South America, I felt a need to be doing something useful, so I looked in here and was appalled to see how lax things had become in my absence. So I just walked right in, rolled up my sleeves, and took over. No one else was volunteering. The people here were actually grateful for someone to tell them what to do. You don’t like the way I’m running things, fine, boot my arse out of here; if you can find anyone dumb enough to take over. I’ll bet you lot don’t even know the precedence protocols, do you? And what are you smiling at, Edwin?”

“For a moment there,” I said, “you reminded me of me.”

“Now you’re just being nasty,” said Callan.

“These tough-guy bonding rituals are all very sweet,” said Harry, “but, Callan, as lord and master of the War Room do you think you could lower yourself to actually brief us on what’s happening now?”

Callan flared his nostrils. “Don’t push your luck, new boy. You and brimstone boy are only here on sufferance. Okay, everyone; bottom line. Politicians of every stripe and flavour are currently threatening each other with war, invasions, and all sorts of economic terrorism, because they believe the family is incapable of stopping them. Word of our lack of field agents, and maybe even lack of torcs, has clearly got around. So, all across the world lots and lots of old grudges, hatreds, and blood feuds are finally being paid off, with age-old enemies gearing up for some serious and long-delayed bloodletting.

“Added to that, all the usual unusual suspects are just itching to take advantage of the situation. While the cat’s away, the mice will inevitably get uppity. All the usual nasty organisations and individuals are operating more and more openly, just daring us to try and stop them. We’ve been enforcing the peace so long, we’ve forgotten just how much bad stuff was bubbling under the surface.”

He stopped to glare at me accusingly. Everyone else joined in. I glared right back at them.

“The more they come out into the open, the easier it will be for us to step on them,” I said. “They’ll all get what’s coming to them. Anything else, Callan?”