‘Yes, I heard.’ I grabbed a box of dry food – stuff Hamlet loved but didn’t often get because of his kidneys and the size of his belly. I opened the door and shook it.

I pictured the cheque I’d written the night before. Made out to my dad, because he needed to confirm the exact details. The cheque I’d written after our heart-to-heart about Carrie, when I was flushed with thinking he was a good person after all. A creeping sense of unease was rising inside me.

‘You can’t give in to people like that,’ Dad said. ‘If I’d agreed a hundred, he’d have asked for two hundred.’

I shook the box more frantically.

A little black-and-white face popped out of a shrub at the bottom of the garden. I released my breath. ‘Oh, he’s here.’

Hamlet trotted over, undercarriage swaying, and shot into the kitchen.

I poured him some of his crack-cocaine-based snacks, shut the cat flap and shoved a chair against it. ‘He’s going to Hannah’s. He knows he can’t go out when he’s there. And I’m off to work. I’ll see you later.’

Hamlet was in his basket on the passenger seat next to me, face pressed up against the grille of his cat carrier, clawing plaintively at it, wailing like he was being tortured. I had to stop at the lights on the A6 and a concerned passer-by peered into the car, obviously thinking I was molesting a small child. I smiled nervously at her and pulled away. I was heading for Hannah’s, having exchanged a few texts and confirmed she could have him.

The phone rang. Mum. I pressed to accept. ‘Meg, love, you haven’t given your father any money, have you?’

I blinked a couple of times. ‘Hi, Mum, nice to hear from you.’ I slowed the car, a sense of foreboding gnawing at my stomach.

‘Are you paying attention?’ Mum spoke rapidly. ‘I’ve had Pauline on the phone.’

‘Pauline whose name must never be spoken?’

‘As it turns out, I think she’s a decent woman. It’s not her fault about your father. I should never have blamed her.’

‘You know they’ve split up now. Whatever she’s said to you – it might not be true.’

‘He’s broke, Meg. He lost all his money gambling.’

Everything went white and silent, except for a roaring in my ears. Mum must have still been talking but I couldn’t hear her. I pulled into a side road and slammed the car to a stop.

My brain was splintering into fragments, but my hearing had come back.