She blinked and reached into the bag for the second test. That had two lines.

The third test. Two lines.

And the fourth. Two lines.

So this was it. She was pregnant. She dropped the bag and the wind grabbed it and carried it away over the side of the bridge. It hovered in the air high above the river for too long, before swirling its way down to the water.

Her hand relaxed and she dropped the last test onto the cold concrete. A seagull cried overhead, sounding too much like a baby.

She leaned over the barrier, her stomach pressing against it. Was this thing really inside her stomach? How could it be? Growing inside her. Part of her and not part of her. Part of him.

Bex felt her knees go soft and she collapsed onto the concrete. She realised she was sobbing.

It was growing inside her.

She was one of two again.

If she jumped into that steely water below, it wouldn’t only be her she killed. It would be this thing too. And she realised she couldn’t do it. Not again.

36

Meg – Present day

Thursday

Jai and I were in the car, heading for the woods. I couldn’t remember another summer where the hot weather had stretched on like this. Where I’d gone weeks without even throwing a cardigan in the car in case of a Peak District reversal where sun turned to fog and rain in an eye-blink. There’d been nothing quite like it since 1976, according to those who remembered, and no doubt it was lovely if you didn’t spend your days tackling wildfires or searching for decomposing bodies.

‘Are you okay?’ Jai said.

I pictured Violet’s face, the energy of her, young and strong, filled with so much life it seemed to burst out of her. ‘It’s good, I suppose. We need forensic evidence. But I’m not sure I’m ready to have it confirmed that she’s dead.’

‘I think we all know she’s dead,’ Jai said.

‘I’d hoped I was getting better at being detached, but I’m not.’

Jai sighed. ‘You don’t want to be detached. You’re a better cop when you’re riddled with stress and anxiety.’

‘Oh, cheers.’

Jai paused and then said, ‘They’re so far off the mark about you.’

‘I know. But even though they’re dicks, it hurts.’

We drove in silence for a while. My mind drifted back to the Justice for Violet group. The dead animals and the comments about me and my competence, or rather lack of competence.

‘I don’t think you have any idea,’ I said. ‘Not you personally. I don’t think anyone has any idea what it’s like to be publicly castigated until it happens.’

‘I suppose not,’ Jai said, happy in his status as un-publicly castigated.