Tears pour down his face, and he squeezes his eyes with finger and thumb. Annie creeps over, solemn now, and climbs on to his knee, arms around his neck, and he clings to her as though she is driftwood and he is drowning. Sobs shudder out of him. Try as I might to hold on to my anger, pity overwhelms it. I look at him and see my little brother, in despair, nothing more.

I crouch by his side, rub his heaving shoulder. ‘It’s all right, John,’ I say. ‘It will be better. It will be better for us all. Together. Soon.’

I believe it because I must. I will live and work as dairymaid, and my wage shall protect them. We will have a better life. Together.

Mam gives him the clothes, and he holds them to his face with his free hand like a babby does a blanket. She kneels, arms around us all, stroking any head she can find. No one moves.

This Bitter Seed

At last the day of the mop came. A fat and generous sun rose.

Daniel gathered what he needed and made to leave.

‘Have all you need, son?’ Father asked, rising from his seat. ‘Know what you’re looking for?’

Daniel tore his thoughts away from Gabriel, who sat at the table with one heavy finger trapping a spider by the leg while he slowly stripped it of the others. ‘What? Yes.’ He took out the full purse and shook it.

‘Don’t be distracted by a pretty face or—’ Father made the shape of a woman’s body in the air with his hands. Daniel coughed and looked away. The spider struggled to escape, remaining legs scrabbling and slipping on the table. ‘Nothing wrong with a good, stout dairymaid. See how well our Bett has done us.’

Bett frowned and shook her head.

‘I’ll remember,’ he said, trying to step through the door. Anxious to leave, for this new life to begin.

‘And go gentle with the ale, you know what it’s like at the mop, and the horse and cart doesn’t drive so well when you’ve a bellyful.’

‘Of course.’ Though in fact he had only been to the mop once as a boy and knew little of it, just the stories told in the village of drinking and violence.

‘Here,’ Bett said, handing him a cloth filled with food. He waved his thanks, but she had already turned to Gabriel. ‘Can’t you leave that poor creature be, you brute?’

Gabriel looked up but kept his hold on the spider. ‘It has no feelings, what does it matter?’

‘Has more feelings than you,’ Bett said, but under her breath, head bowed as she concentrated on placing a jug of ale in a basket.

Daniel hesitated in the doorway. He needed to be gone, or Sarah would be left waiting. But Bett’s stand held him here.