“It’s not like I was much different then, you know. Probably even more of an asshole, if you can believe it,” Cooper tried to explain. “If anyone walked away fucked up from that relationship, it was him, as I’m sure he’ll try telling you himself if we see him again. We had a lot of issues, but it wasn’t, you know, whatever you’re thinking it was.”

Park looked sad and started to say something.

“Don’t,” Cooper said, without intending to, suddenly excessively irritated for reasons he didn’t even understand himself.

Park closed his mouth. The tender but wary look in his eye plus his easy acquiescence to drop it made Cooper feel impossibly fragile.

He busied himself with getting out of the car, taking a moment to count his breaths the way Dr. Ripodi had taught him. The sharp October night air cooled his lungs and he felt instantly calmer, less trapped. The anger was gone as quick as it had come, replaced by shame. Behind him, he heard Park get out, too. Even his silence was gentle.

Cooper sighed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“You didn’t,” Park said. “It’s fine.” He gestured at the house. “You want to head in?”

“You go ahead. I just...need a minute.”

There was a pause. But then Park nodded and headed into the house. The wind ruffled his hair and his hands were shoved into his jacket pockets, fiddling with something. Probably the house key. That was one thing Cooper had been worried about with moving in together. That he wouldn’t be able to ask for space without it being a thing to be taken personally. But it hadn’t been a problem because Park understood. He got it.

Broken was an ugly word for people that Cooper wouldn’t use, but it wasn’t exactly breaking news that he and Park had met at a strange time in both of their lives. Cooper, still reeling from an attack that had deeply changed him both physically and mentally. Park, having just given up his whole life as a professor to root around in his own childhood trauma, only working for the Trust as a favor to Cola in return for telling him the truth about his father’s death and locating the mother who had abandoned him.

No, neither Cooper nor Park had been two people at their emotional prime, though it had definitely presented differently. That didn’t make it a wrong relationship. For both of them, the last year and a half had been as much about feeling safe enough to heal as it had been about falling in love. An opportunity neither had taken for granted. It had been Cooper’s joy and privilege to see Park open to him slowly, softly. To catch more and more frequent glimpses of the sweet, vulnerable man behind the blank mask and call him his.