I try to swallow the lump in my throat and fail. “That’s the thing.” Clearing my throat gets rid of it, but it comes back every time I open my mouth. “I didn’t like this place. I hated this place. Everything about Ruby Bay reminded me of—” In a classic stalling maneuver, I raise my napkin to my lips and dab at some nonexistent wine droplets. I’ve led myself down a path that I do not want to be on.

Roman looks like he’s struggling for the right words, and that’s when I know I have to go on. I can’t let him apologize for everything that happened, because he’s only a tiny part of it.

“It was hard, growing up here. My parents love my sister and me. I’ve never doubted that. But they....” I can’t throw them under the bus, not even when it would be so convenient. “They had their own ways of doing things. I don’t think they ever understood how much impact their way of life had on the way people saw us. Me in particular. Celestia, she was always...she was always happy in spite of it all. She was more like them than I was. My sister—” My sister. My sister will probably call me any moment now, needing me, and I’m the one who’s going to be there for her. “My sister let everything roll off her back. She never cared what other people thought.”

“And you did.” It’s not a question.

“I did.” Tears sting the corners of my eyes. “When I graduated, I decided that I was going to change everything. I saw how easy things were for people who had the right clothes and the right...look. The right attitude. I had no idea how to be like that, so I spent all my spare time researching it.”

Roman’s forehead wrinkles. “You researched how to be confident?”