He’s silent.

“He killed her.”

Roman takes a step toward me, but I don’t want him to hold or comfort me here, in this place he condemned Willow to. I hold up a hand to stop him. “You still put Willow here.”

Shame blooms on his face, as garish as any of the roses, and it almost makes me reach for him. Almost.

“Every single one of us here chose ourselves to be here. Or chose a loved one. I think that’s why we work in troupes. If we’re not willing to condemn some random person to this to save our own neck, then we might do it to save someone we love. I scared away my own troupe’s apprentices until it was down to me, and then I had to make that choice. If it was just about me… but I couldn’t leave her here.” This time he does reach out and touch Beatrice, rubbing away a bit of dried blood from her elbow. “It wasn’t for me,” he says, but his voice is hollow, and it holds no forgiveness for himself.

I’m not ready to forgive him either.

“Why did you train me to beat Willow?” It wasn’t fair. He should have given her everything.

He stares at the wet stones beneath his feet. “It was the way you stepped into that dark alley with me and Willow the second time you saw me. Reckless. Fearless. I couldn’t imagine you in here. And then…” His eyes are pleading as he finally looks up at me. “I felt how powerful you were. I thought you’d be a good ally. You were literally going to risk your neck to help Willow in that alley, and you didn’t even know her.” He glances back down at his feet. “But then, later… I also just wanted to be near you, to be with someone who seemed to feel something close to what I did.” He looks around the garden. “Maybe I should’ve left you alone.”

“You wanted to use me.” Like my father. Like my troupe.

He takes a step toward me, the jewels and stones sliding under his feet. His hand reaches for me, hovering in the air beside my cheek for a moment. He lets it barely touch me before dropping it to his side again. “At first, but then I wanted more than just an ally. And that seemed so dangerous… not just for you. Watching you in this competition and knowing every second that you might end up here?” He closes his eyes. “I wasn’t sure I could live through another loss.”

This time I reach out. My hand hovers next to his, and I let our fingers brush before I jerk back again.

His eyes pop open, and we stare at each other.