I don’t want to think about tomorrow. I don’t even know what I’m doing here anymore. I don’t want to see other illusions of people dying—or people actually dying. I got what I came for. I can kill a vampire, and when I forget about Roman and think about where I’ve been happiest lately, it’s got nothing to do with hunting vampires. It’s walking arm in arm down a street with Diantha and Reina, basking in Xander’s easy smiles, and sitting on the beach laughing. It felt like family. It felt like a family that chose me right from the start and wants me to fight to make sure I stay. Now I know what my mom was a part of and what she had to give up to go live with my dad. There’s really only one thing stopping me from leaving, and a part of that is standing in front of me, while the rest of it is probably losing at Yahtzee to the twins.

“We could just go.” I blurt the words without thinking—even though they’ve been lurking in the back of my mind from the moment we stepped into the unwelcoming entry room of this place, from the moment the magic started to feel so sticky and heavy on my skin. From the moment I sliced a girl in half.

She’s fine. I knew she would be.

Barry’s fine too. Everyone’s fine. Xander wouldn’t lie to me. If I say it enough, I’ll believe it.

Xander’s already stepping back from me when he freezes at my words. His knuckles turn white as he grips the doorjamb, and then he pushes in past me. The door clicks shut even though I’m pretty sure he didn’t touch it.

“What did you say?”

I open my mouth to repeat it.

He holds a hand out. “No. Don’t repeat it.” He runs his hand through his green hair, sending strands running in different directions. “Don’t ever say that again.”

I start to shrink in on myself, like a child, again like a child. I stop, pulling myself upright. “Why? What’s so bad about saying I want—”

“Ava.” He turns my name into a warning.

“Stop that,” I say.