Her smile breaks. She stares at me for a second like she resents the fact that I saw through her. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed like that, but I want to be real friends—not illusions of ones.

“Do you not want me to train with Roman?”

She stares out her window at the sun brushing the branches of the sequoias, and I worry she’s going to tell me to stop, and then I’ll have to decide if I really will or not. What’s more important to me?

“No.” Her smile bounces back. “He is the reason you had so little time to train. He does owe you. He’s just been acting weird with me lately, like as soon as they announced that there was only one immortality spell up for grabs…” She bites her lip, ruining her smile. “He’s acting like I can’t win.”

“That’s bullshit. You’re amazing.”

“Thanks!” Her voice is cheerful again. “I don’t think I’m going to come tonight though. I’m glad you’re getting extra help, but I just can’t be there.”

I nod, even though it stings.

I hate asking what I’m going to ask next though. “If you see anybody from my troupe, will you tell them I’m with you? Say you left me in your room or something… anything? I don’t want to hurt them.”

“Right. Yeah,” she says. “But I wish we really were hanging out.”

“Me too,” I say, backing toward the door before she can hug me, because I worry she will, and that will make me feel even guiltier. Because even with her blessing, I now know I’m hurting her.

That night, I still can’t hit the target, but I can send my knives speeding into the side of the cliff. Another one goes wide, and rocks break loose and crumble.

“If I keep this up, I’m going to chip away at this until the road comes down on top of us.”

White flashes in the dark. It could be Roman smiling, but I wouldn’t bet my life on it. I wouldn’t even bet one of my quarters. Roman’s been sitting on his own piece of driftwood, watching me throw again and again. Sometimes I hit the X. Not often enough.

“Even with the magic, it helps to aim.”

I grind my teeth. “I am aiming.”

Roman stands up, dusts the back of his pants, and moves toward me.

“Grab a knife.”

Holding it in my palm, I immediately draw there the power needed to carry it. I glance at the tip and then at the target ahead of me. I will make it.

“No. You’ll never hit it like that.”