As related in the preface, this book can be read in two ways: conventionally (that is, from first page to last) or by following the Baroness sequence. Those reading the Baroness sequence will find, at the end of each section, a page number in curly brackets (such as that below this note) indicating which page to turn to next. Readers of the Baroness sequence will thus begin the novel here. For reference, the Baroness sequence’s pagination order is outlined below. Readers who decide to read the novel in the conventional manner need only turn the page.

Baroness sequence pagination:

This is where the story ends

City of Ghosts

Tales of the Albatross

The Apartment

The Education of a Monster

Pierre Joubert

The Auction House

A Touching Reunion

Jean-François Feuille

A Suitable Candidate

The Palace of Justice

Jeanne Duval

An Unsuitable Candidate

Édmonde de Bressy

The Baudelaire Society

Hippolyte Balthazar

The Shéhérazade

Madeleine Blanc

The Hotel Room

I’m scribbling this note

Go here.

The Education of a Monster

A Disgraceful Episode

AS I WRITE THESE words, it occurs to me that I have never known a tale to be so beyond belief as that which I am about to relate to you, dear girl. Yet nothing I have written has ever been so true. Paradox, all is paradox. Perhaps I have taken leave of my senses once and for all. You see, as a youth, I contracted the pox, no doubt from Jeanne Duval. This scourge is known, in old age, to drive its victims to madness, so that they know not the difference between the real and the unreal. I live in the permanent shadow of my impending lunacy. But as you will learn, it is not the only way in which Jeanne haunts me still. Indeed, if I am writing to you at all, it is because of Jeanne.

We are not strangers, you and I. I am the gentleman you met this afternoon in the Church of Saint-Loup, accompanied by Madame Édmonde. Your name is Mathilde. You are a sullen, bovine sixteen-year-old girl. Despite the assurances of the nuns who discharged you into Madame Édmonde’s care, you can barely read. Admittedly, you recognize the letters of the alphabet, but that can hardly be called reading. You can scribble your name, but that can hardly be called writing. Still, I trust that Madame Édmonde knows what she is doing. I have no choice.