He began pummeling me with both hands, fists clenched, over and again, cursing me as he did. “You are a monster!” he said. “You are evil!” I covered my head with my arms but I was no match for him. From under his blows, I fell back against the desk, reached behind me and somehow managed to grab the bell, ringing it vigorously before, with a swipe of his arm, Artopoulos knocked it from my hand. Now, consumed by a scarlet rage, he threw himself upon me until we were both writhing on the desk. He wrestled me onto my back. With one hand, he grabbed me by the throat and began to throttle me while, with the other, he reached his hooked fingers toward my eyes and began digging into them around their edges. At that same moment, the nurse entered the room, saw our imbroglio, and screamed. Soon, several orderlies had rushed in, lifted Artopoulos expertly off me, and strapped him into his wheelchair, where he continued, as they wheeled him out of the room and down the corridor, to shout, “You are evil! You are evil! You are evil!”

I was left breathless and trembling. I rubbed my eyes and my throat and straightened my collar. From my mouth and nose I felt a trickle of blood. The nurse sat me down and went to fetch some gauze and alcohol. Monsieur Julien the registrar rushed in and asked what had happened. As the nurse daubed my wounds, I assured him that no great damage had been done, that no disciplinary action was necessary, that the patient’s outburst was merely the act of a troubled mind, that such things were a professional hazard, that if anything it was a good sign, an indication he would, sooner or later, make a full and complete recovery, only it would not be me treating him, needless to say, no, it would certainly not be me.

When, the following morning, I next saw Madeleine, I was still shaken by the events of the previous day. I’d barely eaten or slept and my mind was racing. That incantation, You are evil, was still ringing in my ears. Was it meant as an insult or a condemnation? I didn’t know then and to this day I still don’t know. It is a profoundly disturbing experience to be judged evil by someone upon whom one has delivered the same judgment.