Oh, God, it’s all messed up.

She dressed and headed down the hall to Nora’s room. Mackenzie had decided to stay in the house, at least for now, because her room décor from years ago had remained in place. Even Rowan hadn’t changed it. Weird. And since Rowan was gone, Nora wanted to stay at the house a few nights instead of her own home in town. Her way of holding on. They each had their ways of processing the loss and reasons for wanting to stay in the house.

At the door, Mackenzie lifted her hand to knock. She heard Nora in conversation with someone about Hanstech. Mackenzie wouldn’t disturb her now, but she had to get out of this house. To get away from the pain of loss.

In the kitchen, she found a sticky notepad and scribbled a message, then stuck it near the warming coffeepot. None of those individual cups for them. A refrigerator magnet featuring a picture of Rowan, Dad, and Nora with their bikes caught her attention. Mackenzie couldn’t shake the sense that she could have somehow prevented Rowan’s death. She’d come back to prevent something disastrous. Julian had warned her, but she’d been too late.

A heart attack, the county coroner had said. Without an autopsy.

She definitely needed fresh air. When she returned, she would tell Nora what she had come to say. She found her old mountain bike in the garage, dusted it off, and took to the trail behind the house surrounded by four hundred acres and bordered by national forest on three sides. The acreage included a snowmobile track and an extensive network of hiking and biking trails easily accessed behind the house.

The cool morning air and exertion would do her good—and she’d feel the pain come tomorrow, because she wasn’t exactly in the physical condition to mountain bike on treacherous trails. But the effort would distract her from the image of Rowan’s body that was seared into her eyelids.

Her older brother had intimidated her as a child, and weirdly even into adulthood. And now that he was gone, she was surprised that part of her wasn’t relieved. That the burden he’d placed on her, always holding her mistake over her head, hadn’t been lifted. Maybe deep down she had imagined she would save the company from a massive computer hack, and Rowan would welcome her back into the fold.

Because she was oh-so-self-sacrificing.

Instead, her brother was gone.

He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.

No, Rowan, not yet.

She’d wasted precious years living in her own guilt and heeding his warning. Letting him intimidate her into staying away. For Dad’s sake, until he died, and then for Rowan’s and Nora’s sakes. For what? Well, that had been another big mistake.

Life went on, even after mistakes left you scraping yourself off the ground.