Then I tossed one of the burritos out. It sat there for a loooong moment, then a face came down and gave it a sniff. For a second I thought it was a failure, but then it chomped down on the meat and ran off. I threw the second. This time a hand grabbed it fast.

One to go. I waited, then gently placed it on the edge of the hole in the cell door. A moment passed and two fingers—index and thumb, black and covered with hair—plucked the snack and disappeared.

We sat in the cell waiting and listening. The creatures munched and barked at one another, protecting their food, I assumed, and for a while it looked like the drugs weren’t going to work. Then, slowly the sounds faded and turned to grumbling. Finally we heard a gentle thud or two and some heavy breathing.

I looked at Sabrina. “It’s now or never, sister.”

She nodded as I crawled for the hole, but she didn’t follow right away. Instead I watched as she removed her jacket and loaded the bones, skulls and all, onto the spread-out clothes. Then she zipped it and tied the sleeves, creating a makeshift bag. I was a bit surprised, but if I published a magazine specializing in UFOs and strange phenomena, I guess I’d do the same.

Still, it didn’t seem right.

I didn’t say anything. I went out through the hole, easing as quietly as I could. At first I didn’t see anything, then as I pulled my legs clear I saw the three creatures sprawled on the floor like a gang of drunks. They were out cold.

Sabrina followed, carrying the bag of bones. I pointed to the exit and signaled to be as quiet as possible, then began tiptoeing around the massive creatures snoring on the floor. I cleared one, then the second, and finally the last and was at the doorway when I turned and saw that Sabrina had stopped.

She was placing the bag of bones down next to the creatures. She even placed the makeshift sleeve-handle into the palm of one of their hands.

I just stood there and watched her standing fearlessly over the legendary monster and a rush of emotion came over me. I think I really fell for her then.

It was the scariest thing I’d ever felt.

We made it back to camp with relative ease because the fire was still burning. We packed what hadn’t been shredded and headed out fast. On the drive out of the park we gave the ranger back his bear pamphlet and laughed as we drove away.

Later that week, I received a card from Sabrina. Inside was a note saying how much she enjoyed the camping trip, and there was a picture attached.

It was closeup of the creature who’d held the camera to its face.

A Proper Monster