He pulled into the driveway and drove to the barn. Sitting in his truck for a moment before turning the engine off. He walked outside the barn, and he went into Gus’s stall. He put his hand on the animal’s neck. And he closed his eyes. It made him think of Jamie. The way that she connected with horses. The way that she loved them. The way that she loved this life. In an unbridled way. A way that hadn’t been harmed by it.

She was what he might have been. If different choices had been made.

And he could no longer put the blame at anyone else’s door but his. He swallowed hard, a strange amount of emotion rolling around in his chest.

Then he brought Gus out of the stall and began to tack him up, not sure what he had in mind. Or where he might be going.

He hadn’t ridden with no purpose in longer than he could remember. He’d started this project because he believed in the power of animals, of ranch work, to heal. And he’d withheld the healing from himself. Because he hadn’t wanted to go back to those feelings he had, to that pain that he’d experienced as a boy.

That loss.

Oh, he was a coward.

He mounted the horse, rode him out of the barn. The night was clear, the full moon providing ample light for both horse and rider. He guided him up a path that led to a broad, open field. He maneuvered him into a run, a trot that transitioned into a gallop, and Gabe let his hands fall to his sides, and then wide. With nothing but the moon and the stars to witness what was the equivalent to an emotional breakdown in his world.

And the only thing that could have made this moment better was to experience it with Jamie.

There wasn’t another woman, another person alive, who understood his connection to this. The connection he’d been denying himself for so long. He didn’t even have to explain it to her. She’d been born with it. He had found a woman who made him laugh.

Who made him hot chocolate and toast.

Who got him hotter than any other woman ever had. And who understood the most fundamental emotional avenue he even had. His connection to the horses. His connection to the land. And he’d sent her away.

Because of fear.

He wasn’t worthy of Jamie, and he was overwhelmed by that thought right then.

Because she had faced him on earlier today, her eyes blazing with anger. She had demanded he tell her he didn’t love her. She had dug in and made him answer for himself. And she had stood her ground.

She was a hell of a woman, and he wasn’t worthy of her.

But he could change. He could choose.

Because if he let this go to hell, he’d have no one to blame but himself. It wasn’t the sins of Hank Dalton that had made him the man he was. It was his own fear.