“Jamie, look at the shitshow my family is. I am not in any place to love someone, and, honey, that’s not what you want, either.”

She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but it wasn’t that. That paternal, ridiculous tone. Him telling her that she didn’t want to be in love.

And regardless of the other changes that had taken place inside her over the past few weeks, she still didn’t like being told what to do.

She never would.

That was one thing she was sure about.

“No,” she said. “I’m pretty clear on the fact that I’d like to be in love with you.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “You want to barrel race.”

“Kate Monaghan barrel races. Sierra Thompson barrel races. Nothing stops them from it. Having a husband, even having children, doesn’t stop them.”

“Yeah, and it didn’t stop my father, either. But then, having a wife and children didn’t stop him having affairs.”

She blinked, trying to process the meaning of his words. “And you think I’m going to have affairs?”

He sighed, the sound tired, weary. The sound of a man much older than thirty-three. “I believe that at some point, my genetics are just going to catch up with us. Look at my family. My mother lied to me, manipulated me. My father deserved basically everything he ever got.”

“They made bad choices,” she said. “Your blood doesn’t make you go out and cheat on your wife, Gabe.”

“I don’t know about that.”

She was stunned just then, by the unfairness of it. Of him acting like there was no choice. They were alive. They were alive and well and they could be together. And God knew what was up ahead, but they could have now.

Except he was a damned coward.

“You know what your blood does?” she asked. “Sometimes it makes a clot after you have a baby. And that clot travels into your lung and kills you. You don’t have any choice over that. My mother didn’t have any choice over that. That’s something you can’t fight. That’s something real. Blood doesn’t make you cheat.”

“Then maybe it’s all about what you learn,” he said. “And I sure haven’t learned how to be a husband. I sure haven’t learned how a relationship is supposed to look.”

“And I have? Look at me, learning all of these things.”

“You don’t understand, Jamie. I am like my dad.”

“Right, as evidenced by the trail of broken hearts in your wake? You even told me that the first time we had sex, how you have this act and you only sleep with women you can’t hurt and...”

“I had one girlfriend in high school. After Dad sold the horses. I put all that feeling into her, and I made her promises. I was going to make a life with her. The life we wanted. Her parents sucked, and she wanted—She dreamed of making a life with me. I thought I was immune to acting like my dad. I hated my dad right then. And then what did I do? I had unprotected sex with her.”