‘It’s just, phones just weren’t good enough yet,’ said Karl. The CD in the fake jukebox stammered over a song, the barwoman went over to thump it – like someone slapping a choking person on the back – and James thought about how some tech innovations died as fast as a mayfly and some got away with it for years and years. It was true, almost everything was luck. ‘As soon as we got these it was game on.’ He brandished his iPhone, the third model he’d owned in these couple of years. ‘We just didn’t know then, but computers and phones are the same thing. Jacob was like that guy, who was it? Geezer who nearly invented the light bulb. Thomas Edison.’

‘I think Thomas Edison did invent it,’ said James, ‘at least, he got the credit for it.’

‘Who am I thinking of, then.’ Karl made a short, impatient gesture. ‘Done the light bulb, someone else shafted him, invented all this stuff but someone else always got there first, drank himself to death like – your man, the poet – Wordsworth?’

James sighed. ‘I think you maybe don’t mean Wordsworth.’

They stayed up late that night, trying to follow a film which made no sense until an important revelation hit them simultaneously. ‘Wait, is this entire thing happening backwards?’ said James.

‘Mate,’ said Karl, slowly, his face clearing. ‘I mean, it did seem weird the guy was suddenly a baby but we thought it was a flashback, but it was actually …’

‘… it was actually a flash-forward but the action was back to front, and that’s why …’

‘… that’s why he was already wet when he got in the bath! Fuck!’ Karl and James cackled at the TV. ‘They really need to start making films that strictly go in the right direction,’ said Karl, opening another bottle, ‘or we need to start watching them all from the start, I guess. Are you having another one?’

James hesitated. He’d become anxious as he entered the early thirties that booze put more weight on you than you ever thought about – weight he felt he could ill-afford to carry, as he’d been filling out alarmingly in his year as a driver – but he wasn’t going to tell that to Karl, because he thought Karl was oblivious to his size worries. He used working hours as an excuse, instead. ‘I’d better not, in case I get called out at nine or something.’