Chapters (46)
Sal imagined the reprieve it would be, to run away from this for an hour; to receive a message saying someone had found him, he was all right. It felt unbelievably close, this other world in which she decided not to be in charge. The phone buzzed again: it was begging her. She picked it up. A missed call from Mum. The three letters dug their fingers into her heart again. She scrolled down through the notifications, eighteen in all. A computer programmer – someone with a tick after his name, someone important – was saying that he remembered James from a company years ago. Would love to reconnect, to talk about a job. Sal felt her breath catch behind her ribs. She looked out of the window. Among the chrome towers, the tip of the Skydeck was like a gold-painted fingernail. Every one of those towers was a cell of information, of intelligence. A nest of brains. She thought about Trishna, the meditation lady, talking about how they were all connected. It was true, Sal thought. People were trying to help. They were trying to help her brother.
‘So the car’s booked for half an hour from now?’ she asked.
Meghan blinked. Her tongue flickered across her lips for a minute. ‘It is. Yeah. We’ve – I’ve left quite a bit of time.’
‘Do you want to change here, or when we …?’
‘I can change here,’ said Meghan. ‘But also, to flag up, there is a room for you to use when you get there.’
‘All right,’ said Sal. She picked up the phone. ‘I’m going to get changed there, then. I’ll – until the car comes, I’ll just keep on with trying to see if there’s any news.’
‘Of course,’ said Meghan. She got up and went quietly towards the door. Sal watched her go. The shambling way she held herself; the heavy, deliberate steps. Meghan glanced back once, meeting Sal’s eyes with an accusation Sal couldn’t quite read.
1: Make this list, thought Sal, feeling that strange pocket of other-life close up again, as if a zip had been pulled up. James might not be found yet but normality had settled again, smothering her, reassuring, always better than the glimpses of beyond. In the end, you could always stay in control. The moments in between were the illusion. This was real.