He thought perhaps he was already over the side, was out of his body and remembering or imagining things. He turned around a little at a time. Gina was standing there with her hands outstretched indignantly, like he’d failed to keep some appointment they had. The uniform looked odd on her, away from its context; like she was in fancy dress. Her eyes were red and pained and he was almost afraid of her, of the physical heft of her, her energy: she looked as if she could tear him apart.

‘What the hell are you doing?’

‘I’m just …’ James began.

‘Come here!’ she said. ‘Come here and talk to me!’ He thought for a second she was going to physically apprehend him, and he almost believed he wanted … no. There was a life in which this was the start of something else, but that wasn’t the right one. He folded his arms. This was one thing people couldn’t take away from him. This was his decision to make, even if so many other things hadn’t been.

‘What are you talking about?’ he said.

‘Come here and stop being an idiot,’ said Gina, her songful voice picking out every word in the thinnish air. To anyone else it would still look like a minor disagreement between friends, partners. The handful of passers-by glanced across and went on, some quickening their step, an instinctive distrust of whatever this was. James felt strange chemicals working in channels through him. Whatever was left of him, there was enough to fight this.

‘Why exactly are you calling me an idiot?’

She took a step towards him, her eyes large and almost wild, a sudden gust of wind bothering her hair. She was stocky and solid and he could feel the internal heat of her, he could feel her as a body and a brain.

Gina fished for something in the pocket of her jacket; a small shiny thing. It was her phone. She tossed it down in front of him, almost seeming to enjoy the moment. It landed with a clatter on the stone below him. No: it was his phone. She had picked it up. Someone had picked it up and given it to her. While the train was still in the station. He couldn’t be sure how. James could hear his own breath accelerate.

‘Why …?’

‘You should look at that.’ Gina’s voice contained a sort of flat amusement, like the weary acceptance of a punch line, like someone accepting a defeat that was long in the making. ‘You take one look at that and all the people that are on it.’

‘Leave me alone.’