‘A cab wouldn’t be fast enough.’ James’s voice was so taut that he was almost laughing, the way people did when they were in shock. ‘There’s no way.’

‘We could still get there for the … the evening bit.’ She didn’t know what to say. ‘There’s always a lot of standing around at weddings.’ That wasn’t going to save the situation; she wanted to take it back almost before she’d finished saying it. ‘I just mean—’

‘I said I’d be there at effing half past one, and I was going to go to the … to the bridge,’ James had snapped. She couldn’t help it, she giggled at him for his non-language. ‘Ah, yes,’ James had said. ‘Well, of course it’s funny if you don’t like my sister in the first place.’

‘You don’t think I tried to like her? I was so into being liked by her. But right from the first time, the way she looked at me, like who’s this random brown bird that my brother’s—’

‘That is absolute, that is absolutely …’ said James, his colour up. ‘She never thought anything about you. Especially – what are you saying?’

‘Well, maybe it’s just her way, but it always seemed like I wasn’t good enough.’

‘So this is your response, is it? To miss her wedding? Do you think this is going to help?’

‘For fuck’s sake. It’s not a fucking response. I didn’t plan for us to miss the—’

‘Don’t swear at me, please,’ he said, sounding impossibly prim and mannered, even to himself.

‘Grow up, James.’

‘I don’t think it’s grown up that you swear.’

‘Ah, good. All right, let’s have it all out. You think I’m common because I swear, you think I’m gross because I pee with the door open, you—’

‘I never said that.’

‘You imply it quite strongly by shutting the door for me, mate!’

‘Are we going to stand here talking about every single thing that, er, that you have been saving up to argue with me about while I thought things were going quite well, or are we—’

‘You think I’m obsessed with running and keeping fit and, I don’t know, I should give up building this brand that I’ve fucking – I’m sorry, that I’ve bloody well broken my back to get going …’

‘Well, look at it.’ James spread his arms wide. Involuntarily she scowled at the sweat patches, and he felt fat and shamed. ‘Look where the running has got us.’

‘What!’ Michaela dumped her bag at her feet; she needed her whole body to express how wronged she felt by this conversation. ‘Excuse me, what? Where it’s got us as in, we have an exciting life, we live purely off what I put online?’