“Oh, this is not going well.” How to explain human social standards of behavior, to a being who thought of morality as a distraction? “Look, Skippy, I like girls, I really, really like girls, I like girls as people. Human beings. There’s nothing wrong with, uh, call girls, I am just not interested. I like to talk to girls, Ok? Not just drop money on the bed, and uh, you know, do it. And I’m on active duty. I can’t go hopping around Vegas, stealing money, because that’s what it would be.”

“That’s not true. Even for me, there’s a tiny element of chance involved, that’s what makes it a challenge. Why is it stealing if I play blackjack, but not when the casino stacks the odds against players?"

I didn't have an answer for him. "Skippy, I promise that I will ask, uh," now that I thought about it, I had no idea who was in charge of handling Skippy, other than the president herself. Which she didn't have time for. Surely everyone involved wanted their military service, or agency, to be in charge. "I'll ask, about," that avoided the question of who I was asking, "you taking some side trips. We can say it's, uh, for cultural familiarity, or something like that."

"Or you can tell your prez that I either go to Vegas, or I go to China and hit the Macau casinos while I’m there. Oooh, or we can go to both! Tell people it's to compare cultures, or some bullshit like that. The blackjack dealers in Macau must speak English for you, right? If not, I can teach you."

I could see myself eating aspirin like Tic-Tacs, if I had to be around Skippy 24-7. "I said, I'll ask. I don’t know if we’re going to China, we may not have time. Please don't go doing anything that could get us in trouble, please? You know what? If you're so interested in calculating odds, why don't you tell me the winning lottery ticket numbers?" If there were still lotteries across the USA, a lot of things may have changed since I'd left.

"Too easy."

"Easy? Those are completely random numbers! They use ping pong balls."

"Yeah, of course it appears to be random, why would that stop- Oh, I keep forgetting how linear your species' thinking is. You have no idea how the quantum- Hmm, damn. I can't tell you anything, without drastically interfering with the development of your species."

"Restrictions in your programming again?"

"No, it's immoral." His tone of voice implied a 'duh' he didn't speak aloud.

"Immoral? You?"

"I know it's hard for you to believe, but on the important questions, I am very strict on morality."

"So, playing poker, and ripping off casinos?"