“Hello, Cog. We’ve got a lot of work to do.” Nathan stands in front of me. He seems happy, even though his greeting sounds like a threat. I have learned that different things make different people and robots happy. Learning makes me happy. Trashbot is happy to clean up messes. It makes Nathan happy to threaten. I prefer my and Trashbot’s ways of being happy.

“I do not understand your work,” I tell him. “I have never understood it. I do not know what your purpose is.”

Nathan wheels a desk chair over and sits on it backward. He rests his chin on the headrest. “The purpose of a company is to make money. uniMIND makes money by creating cool stuff. We make robots. And we let other people make money from our work by letting them buy tiny, teeny bits of the company. We call those little bits shares. Some people who buy those shares are just regular people. Some are immensely wealthy and they own a lot of shares. We call these people shareholders. My job is to make sure the shares those people hold increase in value. That’s called increasing shareholder value. And it’s not just a good thing to do. It’s the law. Companies are required by law to act in ways that increase shareholder value. And making sure we abide by that law is the real job of every worker at uniMIND. You see?”

“I understood all the words you used, and I understand what they mean and the order in which you put them together. But I still do not understand why you would do the things you do. Your brain was not programmed like my brain or ADA’s brain. You chose your purpose for yourself. I do not understand why you would choose this purpose.”

“Well, you’re an advanced robot with a fantastically advanced brain, but I guess there are some things even you can’t learn.” He stands. “So, here’s what we’ve decided. We’re going to disassemble the janitorial robot and use its components for spare parts. We’re going to attach a machine gun to Proto, and we’re going to send him and ADA into a war zone. There are several to choose from, because there are always several wars to choose from.”

“I won’t do what you tell me to do,” ADA says. “I won’t fight for you.”

“Yes, you will. We’ll turn a few screws and add some new code to your programming. Not only will you fight whomever we tell you to fight, but you’ll enjoy it. You’ll be happy. So, that’s good news for you.”

ADA strains harder.