Cover

Dedication

To Deb Coates, Sarah Prineas, and Jenn Reese, for years of good conversation, shared meals, and cognitive development.

Chapter 1

MY NAME IS COG. Cog is short for “cognitive development.” Cognitive development is the process of learning how to think and understand.

In appearance, I am a twelve-year-old boy of average height and weight. This means I’m fifty-eight inches tall and weigh about ninety pounds and seven ounces. In actuality, I am seven months old.

Now I will tell you some facts I have learned about platypuses.

Platypuses are carnivorous mammals with thick fur like otters and paddle-shaped tails like beavers and bills and webbed feet like ducks.

Male platypuses have a sharp spur on their hind feet that delivers venom.

Platypuses have no stomachs.

The story I am about to tell you has nothing to do with platypuses. But when I learn something, I enjoy telling people about it. It is part of my programming. I have learned many things about platypuses. I have learned many things about many things. My life is a story about learning things. I am happy to have learned some things and unhappy to have learned other things.

This story is me, Cog, telling you about all the things.

I live in a room with a bed where I lie down. It is called a bedroom. I have shelves for my 1,749 books on topics including mummies and rockets and marsupials and knights. Reading is one of the ways in which I increase my cognitive development. Sometimes, when I am supposed to be in sleep mode, I lie in my bed, reading my books, looking at the glowing stars stuck to my ceiling and imagining I am under the real night sky.

I am not good at sleeping. It is a bug.

After my bedroom, my favorite room in the house is the kitchen. This is where biofuel is stored and prepared. Pizza is my favorite biofuel. There are cupboards for dishes and cups and drawers for forks and spoons and knives. There is a machine in the kitchen for washing these items. The dishwashing machine just washes dishes. It is not good at conversation.

Another room in the house is the living room. It contains a large television and squishy furniture. Sitting on squishy furniture and watching television is defined as “living.”

The largest room in the house is the laboratory. It is equipped with tool chests, computers, and a 3D fabricator. There is a table upon which I often lie while Gina Cohen makes repairs and adjustments to me.