As it turned out, we didn’t exchange a single word. Instead, the fatal blow was this cold snap. A few days after Mei’s departure, Grandpa caught a chill and started a high fever. I gave him medicine, and his temperature came down after a couple of days, but his mind never recovered. His eyes were clouded, and he didn’t seem to understand a word I said. The illness had arrived just in time to save him from shame and hurt. As if a bell jar had been placed over him, leaving him detached but still in possession of thought and determination. He never lost control of his bladder and bowels, and always held it in until I placed the bedpan under him. In order to test his willpower, I once stayed away for more than ten hours, yet he managed not to soil himself. The discipline cultivated by several decades at the operating table.

Now I stay away from the room, other than feeding him or helping him relieve himself. I don’t want to face him, though he probably sees me as no more than a fuzzy shape. He seems equally unwilling to look at me, and keeps his eyes down. Both afraid we might accidentally glimpse the person caught between us. Giving him a sponge bath, I always go over his shoulder and look at the hot, crumpled sheet beneath him. He’s gotten so scrawny the towel rucks his skin. Like wiping bones. He turns his head and stares at the floor. This must be humiliating. He once had the power to decide countless lives, but now someone has to lift his arms and scrub his armpits. Honestly, for an old man, he’s quite free of nasty odors. Sheer force of will—he doesn’t allow himself to stink.

A couple of days ago, we got our only visitors so far: two kids climbed the fence and snuck into the yard. I was on the couch, reading one of Grandpa’s hardcover classics, which are mostly for show—they look like they’ve never been opened. I chose Wuthering Heights. Then I happened to look up and there they were, faces pressed to the window. A boy and girl, maybe ten years old. Though there was no resemblance, for some reason I was reminded of you and me all those years ago. After a moment of confusion, I jumped up and pulled the door open.