Rennie opened the passenger door and slid into the Fiat Punto. Then curled his top lip. ‘What smells in here? ’

Logan stared at him. ‘Did you get the list or not? ’

A grin. ‘Piece of the proverbial.’ He held up an A4-sized magazine, with a photo of Bennachie on it and the words ‘WILLOX & SMITH ~ THE PROPER PROPERTY PEOPLE’.

Logan took it and flicked through the photocopied pages.

‘They do one every two weeks. It’s separated into areas, and I got Mr Comb-over to mark everything that’s been on the market for more than six months.’

Which looked like most of them.

He passed the property magazine to Sim in the back. ‘Everything north-east of the city.’

‘Yes, Guv.’

Rennie shoogled in his seat. ‘Can’t we just, you know . . . beat it out of Duncan Cocker? ’

‘He’s lawyered up. According to Biohazard, everything’s “no comment” now.’

‘Little sod.’

Sim leaned through from the back. ‘What kind of price range am I looking for? ’

‘Doesn’t matter. Just has to be something liveable in, that’s off the beaten track, and been vacant for a while. Goulding says Agnes Garfield likes ruins, so it’ll probably have steadings, or outbuildings, something like that.’

‘Right, vague it is. . .’ She sat back again.

What else would Agnes Garfield want? Land? Nice garden? Central heating and double glazing?

Logan frowned. ‘Any churches for sale? ’

‘Churches, churches. . . There’s one in Peterhead? ’

Too far away. ‘Anything else? ’

‘Erm. . .’ The silence was broken only by the sound of flipping pages. ‘How about this: “Arquarthy Croft, Kirkton of Rayne. Excellent opportunity to purchase a development or renovation project in the heart of the Grampian countryside, within easy commuting distance of Aberdeen. This three-bedroom traditional farmhouse with extensive outbuildings and three acres of land believed suitable for equestrian use. . .” They always say that, don’t they? ’

‘You’re supposed to be looking for churches.’

‘Didn’t let me finish. “. . .believed suitable for equestrian use. Includes a derelict chapel with outline planning permission to create a four-bedroom family home with double garage. Four hundred and sixty thousand.”’

‘Ouch.’ Rennie puckered up. ‘Soon as it says “outline planning permission” you know you’re about to be screwed.’

Logan drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. ‘Anything else? ’

Sim shook her head. ‘That’s your lot.’

Did a derelict chapel still count as consecrated ground?

Worth a try.

Logan turned the key in the ignition.

‘—with gunmen in a four-hour standoff. Sources close to the operation say the suspected cannabis farmers are demanding a helicopter to take them, and their hostage, to Aberdeen Airport—’

Rennie peered through the windscreen as the wipers squealed their way back and forth across the pitted glass. ‘Still don’t see why we couldn’t take the pool car.’

‘—flight to Thailand. We spoke to Chief Constable—’