The PCSO stood in the corridor, head down, tongue poking out the side of her mouth as she thumbed away at her mobile phone. ‘Told you we’d break him.’

‘Remind me never to piss you off. . .’ A frown. The sound of voices filtered down from the floor above – where the female cells were. Then a cheer echoed through the breezeblock staircase. ‘What’s all the ruckus? ’

‘Didn’t you hear? We’ve got ourselves a bona fide celebrity in: assault.’

‘Not that dick from the radio again, is it? The one who was on that reality TV singing thing? ’

‘Nope, a genuine Hollywood starlet. Half the dayshift are up there like a pack of randy goats, volunteering to give her a strip-search.’

For God’s sake. . . Logan pointed at Professor Marks’s cell. ‘Get him processed and out of here. We’re dropping the charges.’

‘Thanks to my evil genius.’

‘Yes, thanks to your evil genius.’ Logan stuck his notebook in his pocket. ‘And if you’re tweeting about us having someone famous banged up, you can stop right now. This is a police station, not the News of the World.’

Pink spread across the PCSO’s cheeks. ‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’

Yeah, right.

Logan headed up the bare concrete stairs to the next floor, where all the noise was coming from.

The corridor was jammed with uniformed and plainclothes officers, all staring straight ahead at something hidden by the press of bodies. Another cheer.

Logan tapped the nearest PC on the shoulder.

Guthrie turned and grinned at him, a Babybel mini-cheese half unwrapped from its red wax coating in his hand. His pale eyebrows shot up above two watery red-rimmed eyes. ‘Isn’t this great? ’ He bit the tiny cheese in half.

‘What are you all doing? ’

Guthrie nodded towards the crowd, chewing with his mouth open. ‘She’s posing for photos. Of course, half these idiots haven’t a clue, they just think she’s the woman who got her kit off in Three Dead Men, but she’s done some excellent indie films.’

‘And she’s posing for photographs? ’ Logan dragged in a deep breath. ‘GET BACK TO WORK, YOU BUNCH OF MORONS! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE POLICE OFFICERS!’

He pushed his way into the crowd. ‘You heard me: get out of it!’

Moans. Pouting. Grimaces. ‘Aw, but, Guv. . .’

‘Back to work! Go on!’

Slowly they drifted away, slouching and scuffing their feet, until the only ones left were Logan, a shuffling PCSO with a porn star moustache, and Morgan Mitchell.

Her bright-red hair shone in the overhead light, turquoise eyes surrounded in layers of dark makeup, a CSI New Orleans T-shirt and blue jeans, high-heeled boots. She smiled at him. ‘Inspector Logan, hi. Did you come for a photo? ’

Logan glowered at the PCSO. ‘You better have a bloody good explanation for this, Andy.’

‘It. . . I thought. . . It. . .’ He cleared his throat, then looked at Morgan. ‘Erm. . .? ’