‘Do you know where Agnes is now? ’

Ina disassembled her slice of cake into its four coloured squares. ‘And she was such a quick study. The bones, the earth, the herbs, she understood. And she was always so good about doing little chores about the house, and fetching . . . medicine for Effie’s glaucoma.’

For God’s sake. . . Logan dumped his plate back on the table. ‘You know what? That’s great, but she stabbed a friend of mine today, so if you don’t mind: answer the sodding question. Where is she? ’

Ina put her hand on Logan’s leg again. Gave it a squeeze. ‘We’re sorry for your loss. But we’ve not seen Agnes Garfield for months. Not since we fell out over that horrible young man of hers.’

Mary brought her chin up. ‘We tried to warn her. Effie had a vision where he hurt her and made her do terrible things, and she’s a good girl. But Agnes wouldn’t listen.’

A sigh, then Ina’s eyes drifted to the urn on the mantelpiece. ‘The heart wants what it wants. And when we tried to point out how bad he was for her, she left us.’

‘And now we have to make do with the bones of our babies.’ Mary picked a grey tabby from the carpet and hugged it to her chest. ‘Isn’t that right, Lopez? ’ She glanced up at Rennie. ‘Oh don’t worry, it’s all natural causes. We’d never hurt our little fuzzkins, would we, Lopez? No, we wouldn’t.’

Ina stood and shuffled over to the urn on the fireplace. Stroked it with a twisted finger. ‘How are we supposed to get more consecrated soil, now? Taxi drivers always look at you so strangely when you get in with a shovel and say, “Take me to the nearest graveyard. . .”’

OK, time to come back from Happy La-La Land. ‘Where was your mother buried? ’

Mary took the photo album back and shut it. ‘The family plot, out by Kemnay. The church is deserted now, probably all overgrown. We don’t get out as often as we should.’

Ina licked her lips, tongue snaking in and out of her mouth as if it was scenting the air. ‘And you will give us Mother’s bones back, won’t you? So she can be with us where she belongs? ’

Yeah. . . Where she’d probably end up ground to a powder and sold to gullible idiots on the internet.

‘Found the hole!’ Rennie stood up to his waist in nettles, elbows out at ninety degrees to his shoulders, hands curled into paws. ‘There’s a coffin at the bottom and everything. Looks like something out of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.’