Logan rolled his tumbler from side to side between his hands. ‘Erm. . .’ He cleared his throat. ‘You remember that money you inherited? ’

Steel sniffed. ‘If you’re looking for a sub, you’re out of luck. Every penny’s going on Jasmine’s school fees. Well, when she’s old enough.’

‘I didn’t—’

‘You got any idea how much these places charge? Three or four grand, aye, and that’s not a year, that’s every sodding term!’

He helped himself to a chunk of brie. ‘I’m not after a loan, I want to know how you . . . you know, decided to take the cash? ’

‘Hrmmmph. . .’ Steel narrowed her eyes. Then jerked a thumb at him as Susan came back from the pantry with a multipack of Monster Munch. ‘Sooz: the boy here wants to know why we took Desperate Doug’s cash. How come we didn’t tell his lawyers to sod off, then go round and piss on his grave? ’

Susan dug into the pack and came out with a bag of pickled onion. ‘We do that every year, on the anniversary of his death.’ She popped the bag open. ‘I was thoroughly ashamed the first time, but now we make a picnic of it, don’t we? ’

‘Which reminds me,’ Steel hopped down off her stool and crossed to the corner of the room, ‘time to empty Mr Rumpole’s litter tray.’

Logan had an olive while she grabbed hold of the plastic tray by the patio doors and shoogled it until dark poopy monsters rose from the deep. ‘You know what I mean: just because someone leaves you money in their will, it doesn’t mean you’ve got to take it. You hated—’

‘Desperate Doug MacDuff was a nasty, murdering, raping, wee shite.’ Steel scooped the lumps out with a plastic trowel and tipped them into the bin. ‘We took his cash so Jasmine could get a better education. The old bugger was dead, anyway.’ She opened the cupboard under the sink and pulled out a brass urn from between the Flash and Cillit BANG. Gave it a shake. Pursed her lips and frowned. ‘Think he’s beginning to run a bit low.’

Logan tried his whisky. Warm and dark. ‘So you don’t . . . regret taking the money? ’

She unscrewed the lid from the urn, then dug a teaspoon into the opening. ‘He’s dead. Fuck him.’ Steel sprinkled the ashes onto the cat litter. Then she paused, and squinted at him. ‘Why the sudden interest? ’

A shrug. ‘I just. . .’ Don’t tell her the truth! ‘I just wondered what I’d do if it was me.’