Acting as though he was too aroused to carry on a coherent conversation, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the dated tile while guiding her hips with his hands. He was aroused and loving every minute of what she was doing—but he could’ve come up with the answer to her question. He just didn’t want to talk about what he was looking for in a woman, because if he had to describe someone, it would be her.

23

“I hate dropping you off here, especially when it’s foggy like this,” Tobias complained when Harper had him stop even farther from her sister’s house than usual.

“We can’t use the same spot every time. That might draw too much attention.”

“But I can’t see you get home safely from here. Are you sure I can’t drop you off in front? It’s four thirty in the morning. Everyone should be sleeping.”

Harper knew she was probably being a little risky—something terrible could happen anywhere—but she felt safe in her sister’s neighborhood. She’d decided she was going to put off any reconciliation with Axel until she’d had a chance to fully explore what she was feeling for Tobias. But it was one thing to tell Karoline what she’d decided—and quite another to show up disheveled after having had sex with Tobias all night.

She needed to be careful, to do this right. She knew there’d be moments when she’d feel highly conflicted, but for the first time since her divorce, she felt as though she’d found the direction she wanted to go—not the direction she felt she should go, necessarily, but what she really wanted deep in her heart. There was just something about Tobias that made her happy, and she was hesitant to give him up.

By contrast, every time she thought about getting back with Axel she felt a little sick inside—even panicked, because she knew what she’d have to look forward to if she chose that path, and how difficult it would be. Even when they were together, before he’d ever mentioned the D word, they’d been struggling to get along. She couldn’t command enough of his time or attention, and when he did want her it was for what she could provide—her calming influence, her help, her ability to level out his emotions.

“My brother-in-law is a light sleeper,” she said. “And he gets up early. I’m going to tell Karoline and Terrance that I’m seeing you, but I don’t want them to find out this way. It’ll take me less than three minutes to run home. I’ll be fine.”

“Will you text me when you get in—so I won’t worry?”