If Tobias got anything out of going to Tonya’s party, it was the confidence that he’d made the right decision when he broke up with her. Although she was more than friendly, even asked him to stay over—an invitation he refused—she wasn’t living the kind of life he wanted to live. They would never have been compatible.

As he sat around nursing a beer while everyone else got high, he realized that he didn’t think partying so hard was fun. Maybe, occasionally, it was tempting to use drugs to check out of real life. But you had to come back to real life at some point and the reality you had to face could be much worse because you’d tried to avoid it.

When he left Tonya’s to drive over and surprise his mother, since Jill lived only forty-five minutes away and he’d given up on the party early, he was glad he’d been careful not to get involved with anyone else since he’d broken up with Tonya. He knew he’d choose much differently now than he would’ve five months ago. When he first got out of prison, his self-esteem had been at an all-time low, and he’d been starved for love—sex, too, of course, after going so long without it. That was how he’d gotten mixed up with his cellmate’s sister in the first place. He’d felt lucky to have any woman’s attention.

When he arrived at his mother’s apartment, her roommate told him Jill had picked up an extra shift at the bar where she served drinks because she needed the money to help make January’s rent.

He considered waiting, but when he learned that she wouldn’t get off until closing at two, he drove over to see her there, ordered some hot wings and a soda, and tipped her all he could afford so she could make rent. If only she’d stay off drugs, she’d be able to get by on her own. But it was Christmas. He wasn’t going to let her stress over the holidays. And he definitely didn’t want her asking Maddox for money again. Maddox had taken care of her as much as anyone could the whole time Tobias was gone.

Jill pocketed the money, thanked him profusely and bragged to all the other servers that he was her son, but instead of staying until she got off and following her back to her place to stay the night, as he’d planned when he left the party, he decided to make the drive home. Being around his mother wasn’t good for him. She couldn’t keep her life together, and since she refused to stay away from methamphetamine, there was no way to help her. Sometimes her decisions made him so angry it was just easier to keep his distance.