“Come, let’s go sit down and talk. I don’t have a lot of time. Barney booked this damn showcase without asking me, and it’s last minute. I’d tell Barney to go fuck himself, but he’s annoying when he gets in a mood. I would rather do this showcase and get it over and done with. Before he gets here to make sure I get to the airport in time, I am warning you that although you’re a headturner, he won’t be interested. He’s a gorgeous bastard and my last assistant embarassed herself trying to get his attention until I realized she had a thing for him. I should have told her in the beginnging it was a waste of time. Barney loves to have his dick sucked but not by the likes of you. He does enjoy it when Duely sucks his dick,” she said, as I followed her into another room. “Sit,” she instructed, pointing at the sofa.

I walked over and sat with my cosmo then took a sip. Lala’s excentric name no longer seemed odd. It fit perfectly. She winked when she saw me drink. “Good for the soul or just the brain. Terrible for the liver, I hear, but Betty White is kicking it just fine and is a vodka drinker. That’s the only proof I need of its magic. Now, I travel a lot. I don’t like it, but that’s the way it goes. This place is my main residence. The Lala Longstreet offices are outside the city but not too far of a drive. You’ll be given a corporate card for gas and for all other expenses. Company car is an Audi this time, I believe. Or did Barney say it was a Cadillac? I can’t remember. It’s a 2020, and I’m sure it’ll suffice. Numbers for anything I throw at you are here.” She reached for the bright pink leather journal on the table beside her then tossed it at me. I caught it without spilling my drink on the expensive looking white velvet sofa. I was perched on the edge of the sofa for fear of hurting it.

“Dry cleaners, personal shoppers, family,” she said that last one with a disgusted snarl on her lips. “They’re all bastards, so avoid them if you can. Your phone will have their names already programmed with warnings to not answer. You accidently talk to one of my relatives and you’ll be more careful next time. Trust me.” She took a gulp then went on talking. “Business associates, etc., it’s all in there. Also programmed into your corporate cell phone. Barney will have that, the extra set of keys to the house, office, alarm codes and instructions, and the keys to the car. Okay, that’s about it. Any questions?”

I had too many to count. “I-“