I didn’t get a chance to respond to that, thankfully. She stepped back and with a overly dramatic wave of her hand, she continued. “Come inside and I’ll pour you a drink. Before noon I’m a cosmopolitan girl. I move to the harder stuff after lunch. Will a cosmo work for you?” she asked walking through the large open foyer toward the first arched doorway to her left. I followed quickly because for someone with short legs, she walked fast.

“I’m more of a water before noon person,” I replied with honesty.

She stopped abruptly and stared at me in horror. Those already large eyes seemed even wider. “Water? Who the fuck has Duely sent me? Just go!” She pointed toward the front door.

I stood there frozen. I hadn’t been prepared for such a violent reaction to my request for water. I was too shocked to move.

Lala began to cackle with laughter. I continued to stand there and watch her. Was this woman okay? Had Duely gotten me an interview with a lunatic?

“You’re going to be fun. That shocked expression was priceless! I owe Duely one for this.” She was still laughing as she went into the kitchen. I didn’t know if I was supposed to be leaving or following her.

“Come on, Cat. I’ve still got to force a cosmo down you before noon. Water my ass. That’s just sad, girl.”

I went into the kitchen and she gave me a big white straight teeth smile. “When you grew up in a trailer that had no heating and air with holes in the floorboard that you had to keep stuffed with towels and hope the critters couldn’t push through them and get inside, you drink before noon. And you don’t fucking drink alone,” she explained, while shaking a pretty blue shaker that had the letter L in crystals on the front. “My momma was an alcholic, so this is the worst thing I could be doing, but it’s all about moderation, sweetheart. Moderfuckinration,” She said pouring the light red drink into two martini glasses. It appeared she wasn’t kidding about me drinking too.

I wasn’t confident this woman wasn’t certifiable, so I didn’t think declining the cosmo again was a good idea. She picked up one of the glasses then nodded her head at the other one. “Go ahead and get it,” she said then started back around the bar, waving her empty hand at the rest of the kitchen. “Great place, isn’t it? I love old fancy shit.”

I nodded in agreement then took my glass. “It’s a beautiful home.”