Alastair, looking horrified, could not absent himself soon enough; he muttered something about packing a valise, and fled.

Sona looked at her daughter with bright eyes. For a moment of terror, Cordelia wondered if her mother was going to ask her if she was pregnant. She couldn’t bear the thought.

“Layla, darling,” Sona said. “There is something I wished to speak to you about. I have thought a great deal about many things in the days since your father died.” Cordelia was surprised; her mother spoke clearly, an undertone of regret in her voice—but the terrible grief Cordelia had expected from a mention of Elias was absent. Something sad and quiet and bittersweet seemed to be in its place. “I know that you did not want to marry James Herondale—”

“Mâmân, that is not—”

“I am not saying you do not love him,” said Sona. “I can see from the way you look at him that you do. And perhaps marriage would have come, later, but it came when it did because scandal forced it. And that was never what I wanted for you.” She drew her wrapper more closely about herself. “Our lives rarely turn out the way we expect them to, Layla. When I married your father, I knew him only as a great hero. Later, when I realized the extent of his troubles, I distanced myself from my family. I was too proud—I couldn’t bear for them to know.”

In the kitchen, Risa was singing; the sound seemed miles away. Cordelia whispered, “Mâmân…”

Sona’s eyes gleamed, too bright. “Do not worry yourself over it. Only listen to me. When I was a girl, I had so many dreams. Dreams of heroism, of glamour, of travel. Layla—what I want for you above all things is that you follow the truth of your dreams. No scorn, no shame, no part of society’s opinion matters more than that.”

It was like a knife in the heart. Cordelia could not speak.

Sona went on. “What I am saying, and I will say the same to Alastair, too, is that I do not want you hovering over me, doting on me until the baby comes. I am a Shadowhunter too, and besides—I want to know you are pursuing your own happiness. It will make me happier than anything else in the world. Otherwise I will be miserable. Do you understand?”

All Cordelia could do in response was murmur assent and embrace her mother. One day I will tell her all the truth, she thought fiercely. One day.