“I’m very aware of that.” Now he did sound proud of her.

That pride made her heart ache all the more. “I know the arms deals. The drug deals. The prostitutes and even contract kills you arranged. I know where your money is. I’m a danger to you and to every business partner you have.”

“I’ve been aware of that for some time, Catarina.” He sat back, for the first time letting go of her. “You never once cooperated with law enforcement. You didn’t go to them. You refused to give them anything this time, even when you knew I would find out where you were the moment they brought you to a police station. You knew I would come after you. And you knew I’d find you. Still you didn’t take their deal. That’s not fear, Catarina. That’s loyalty. I’ve never once had anyone loyal to me. Anyone looking out for me. Not unless I paid them. You gave that to me.”

It wasn’t altogether a lie. There was more truth in his statement than she wanted to believe. He’d killed, and still there was a part of her that protected him and she didn’t understand why. She kept thinking she could find a way to save him. He’d grown up in what could only have been a nightmare world, but so had Jake Bannaconni. Jake had found a morality, lines he would never cross; Rafe had turned to killing to ease his own pain.

“What about those people you allow your leopard to hunt in the swamp, Rafe?” she asked quietly.

His eyes flickered, darkened. She saw the threat of his leopard there. The focused, piercing stare of the hunter. “I don’t kill those people, Catarina. My leopard does. It’s the only way I can restrain him. Every one of them was an enemy.”

“You brought women to our home to sleep with you. You hunted them. How could they be the enemy?”

“You go too far,” he hissed. “Do you have any idea how dangerous this conversation is for you?”

“I want to understand the things I didn’t as a child. The things about you that scared me. I’m giving you all the reasons I ran from you, Rafe. You were everything to me. My whole life. There was no one else. Only you. You didn’t hold me. You didn’t reassure me when I needed it. I tried to hold on. I tried to understand. But I knew what you were doing and it frightened me, especially when I felt her. My leopard. I was afraid she would hunt with yours. That she was a killer.”