“Yes, Messiah, the corny college boy! You disappeared, and he didn’t. He was solid. On days when I felt like taking a razor to my wrists, he would show up out of nowhere. We talked. We went to the movies. He cooked for me. We read books together. He was my friend. He saw me through depression. He welcomed me into his family, helped me keep up with homework while raising two babies. He put in the time, Messiah … with the space and opportunity you gave him!” She shook her head and stopped speaking as she turned away from him so he wouldn’t see her tears. She couldn’t believe she was advocating for Bash after what he’d done to her. After the threats and him being physical with her, she was defending him vehemently. It hadn’t always been bad between them, and if she was honest, she’d played a role in the way things had changed for the worst. She was wrecked, decimated by the cloud Messiah had cast over her life. She hadn’t been happy without him, but she hadn’t been sad either. She had just been coasting, on autopilot, through each day. His strong hand on the back of her neck, massaging, coercing her to face him made her feel like she couldn’t breathe. She knew he liked to hijack shit. Semis, her heart, now her air. Damn him for being so good at it. “I think about what would have happened if that girl never showed up at your house that day. I think about it every day. When would you have killed Ethic? Would you have killed me? Eazy? B? How would it have all gone down? Would I have seen it coming?”

She closed her eyes as her lip trembled. The thought alone destroyed her. Messiah blew out his exasperation and stumbled backward until he felt the bed behind him. He sat and leaned forward, dragging his hands down his face. It was time to address what he had avoided for years.