He grabs the doorknob, ready to shove her inside and I realize that we’re going to be alone. It’s what I was hoping for. I begged him every night to come back for me, burying my face in my pillow and crying out for him. But now that he’s back, I’m not sure I’m ready for whatever he has in store for me.

I bolt while he has his hands full and run out the front door. Down the street. Through the snow-lined sidewalks of Castlebrook Falls.

I don’t know where I’m going.

I just know I need to run.

Not because I’m afraid of him. I’m terrified of what happens if I don’t.

Losing Riven once almost destroyed me, and if I don’t leave first, I’m afraid I won’t survive it again.

The wind hits my cheeks as I tear down Main Street, past shuttered shops. There’s that smell in the air, the kind that tells you snow is coming. It lingers, heavy and electric, like the whole town is holding its breath waiting for it. I used to love the snow because that meant going further up the mountain to the cabin our father and his brother built on a pond. I used to love watching Riven play hockey on the frozen pond. It’s one of the only memories I have of him where he seemed free, like he was enjoying himself.

I wish I could say I’m numb right now. Or even that I’m angry. But I’m not. I’m buzzing. Skin alive. My nipple is tingling where his fingers lingered.

I can’t stop replaying how he looked at me. Like he’d been crawling through the dark and finally found the light. Like I am his salvation, his sin, and everything in between.

When he touched me, really touched me, it was like I was his. Like I’d always been his.

It was everything I’ve ever wanted.

And I hate myself for almost giving in too quickly. I practically fell into his arms just because he came home in time to save me from the very people he left me with.

I hate that I still feel connected to him in this soul-tethered way. That no matter how many months passed, how many nights I cried alone, that pull between us never died. It just went quiet.

Until now.

And that’s why every nerve ending in my body is screaming at me to run back to him. I want to throw myself into his arms and beg him to take me anywhere he wants to go. I’ll be happy as long as I’m by his side.

But I keep running.

RIVEN

The boutique goes up in raging flames faster than I expected.