“And you think that’s what I want?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. All I know is that night, the night Hannah disappeared, it sent all of our lives spinning down a different path.”

James reached across the couch, holding out his hand. I hesitated a moment, but then put my hand in his. His fingers wrapped around mine, and his touch felt warm and reassuring. For just a moment, it felt like everything was getting back to normal between us.

“I love you,” he said. “Marrying you and having Paige . . . those are the two best things that have ever happened to me. How could you think I would regret any of that?”

“I know. But at the same time . . .” I trailed off, not wanting to say the words out loud.

“What?”

“I can’t help feeling guilty. I’ve had this amazing life. And none of it would have happened if Hannah hadn’t disappeared in the middle of the night. It’s like my happiness resulted indirectly from her death . . . and I don’t know how to feel about that.”

James didn’t let go of my hand, but he also didn’t respond to my words. When I looked over at him, I saw that he was staring at the space in front of him.

I wondered what he saw there.

“Please,” he finally said. “Let it go. Stop looking into all of this. It’s bad enough that the police consider me a suspect. I need to know you’re on my side.”

His words stung. “I’m always on your side! That’s the only reason I’ve done any of this—that’s why I talked to Parker, and Nico, and Diana. I was hoping they would remember something that would exonerate you. That would give the police a different lead to follow.”

James looked suddenly older, as if the past few days had aged him on fast-forward. He’d always had such a vibrant, energetic presence that he’d looked younger than his almost-fifty years. But not now.

“Please,” he repeated. “Promise me you’ll stop.”

“Fine,” I said. “I promise.”

Chapter Eleven

This time, I was determined to keep my promise to James, and stay out of the investigation. The next morning, after James left for work, I took Stella for a long walk, much longer than the pug wanted. She sat down stubbornly twice, refusing to budge even when I tugged at her leash, and then pawed at my leg, hopeful that I would carry her for the last few blocks. Once we finally made it home, I showered, dressed, and headed out with a list of errands. I planned to keep myself busy.