“Fine. That was warranted. But seriously, it’s killing me to see you like this. Your mom is worried, too. She called me. She also noticed how different you’ve been since you got back.”

“I am different. Sure, I have a renewed sense of purpose about what I was doing with my life. But mostly, I fell in stupid, big, all-consuming love. Like I even dream of the smell of him kind of love. Of the way he spoke while we … you know.” Meredith scrunched her nose up, but I continued. “And like, I-want-to-be-a-mom-to-a-little-girl-who-isn’t-mine-but-feels-like-mine-because-she’s-a-part-of-him kind of love. It was as though I left Charleston like an overgrown teenager, and I came back as a woman. That’s the closest explanation I can give you. And not to mention the sex … other worldly. I mean I’ve always enjoyed sex, but it’s never been like it was with Xavier. Never. So freaking intense. And I’ll probably never find that again … for the rest of my whole life.”

“Well, fuck. I’d be crying too then,” Meredith said, a legitimate expression of horror on her face. “Scoot over, I’m going to get ice-cream delivered, and we’ll hold a wake for your sex life.”

I laughed, but it morphed into a fresh round of tears. “I-ice-cream s-sounds good.” I hiccupped.

“Christ, you’re a mess.” She sighed and pulled me in to lie on her shoulder while her other hand found the food delivery app on my phone.

I was a zombie for the next week or so.

Dauphine still called, but sometimes it was every two or three days now. It felt as though she was getting better. Finally able to move on from her grief and recent trauma. I knew Xavier had organized for her to see a therapist again after the incident with the kidnapping, so with that and having me to talk to, she’d sounded lighter and lighter. However, I hadn’t heard Xavier’s voice again, and my gut ached to hear it.

But then Tabitha came back and the energy in our apartment began to slowly shift back toward the happier times we’d had pre-France. It was Friday and we’d planned a girls’ night so I could fill Tabitha in sparingly about the fact I’d broken all her rules about not fraternizing with one of her families, and she could fill us in on what, or who, had kept her away from Charleston so long. The late September heat in Charleston was relentless and would continue to be for the next few months at least, and it was always jarring to see people start to decorate with fake fall foliage and real pumpkins that promptly rotted on doorsteps.