My father had given up fatherhood through no fault of his own when he’d died suddenly. I had to acknowledge the part of me that for many years, irrationally, blamed him for leaving us. I felt betrayed. Let down. But mostly, I was angry at my father for not fighting harder to live. I’d spent several months reading everything I could find about people seeing the light and then turning back for another chance at life, convinced if only Daddy had told them how much he loved me that he’d have been allowed another chance.

Every night, I wept and argued with God. At one point, my twelve-year-old self, only a little older than Dauphine, had asked God whether if I’d been a better daughter, less willful and more loving and appreciative, if maybe, perhaps, Daddy wouldn’t have died. Then, of course, I’d gotten a stepfather who didn’t take his fatherly duties seriously at all, in fact had used us as a shield of respectability, leaving my mother and me almost destitute and our reputation in tatters.

No, Xavier’s distrust of everyone and everything for his daughter’s sake, even at my expense, only served to make me admire him more. Understand him more. Love him more.

He was the kind of man I’d choose to have a family with, I admitted to myself. And it had nothing to do with his means and everything to do with him.

Dammit. My eyes filled again, and I gripped the sink and squeezed my eyes closed. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to come to France and leave my heart behind. Xavier and his daughter meant everything to me. Everything. I wanted them for my own. How could I leave them voluntarily?

I heard the soft voice of Madame and the rougher cadence of Xavier. They were probably discussing what had happened and how Dauphine had been found.

I could always find out tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

I let down my hair with a sigh, brushing my fingers through it and then braiding it loosely.

Tomorrow I would hug that dear little mermaid, then I’d have to rescue my things and try to get home. I didn’t even know what day it was. Evan had mentioned something about flight availability later in the week. But then Madame had invited me to stay. God, I was so torn and so adrift.

There was a quiet knock on my door. My stomach tightened.

“Josie?” Madame’s voice called softly, and I tried not to feel disappointment it wasn’t Xavier. “Tu vas bien?”

I padded to the door and opened it. “Oui. I’m okay.”

She cocked her head to the side, assessing me. “Would you like to come downstairs? I know it is late, but we will hear the news of what happened. Oui?”

“Merci.” I nodded and followed her downstairs.