“Can we table revenge and simply strategize about where I might get another highly respected job doing what I spent eight years training for?” My heart thumped heavily. It felt suddenly as though I was letting my father down. And my mother. And not just myself. Had I done the right thing? I was going to need to apply to a bunch of firms as soon as possible.

“Fine. We’ll throw some ideas around. But then we are going to come up with a way to castrate those assholes.”

“A bag of dicks,” said Meredith calmly, her hazel eyes focused on not spilling a drop of her Pear Blossom Martini as she brought it to her mouth.

I felt my eyebrows rise as I set down my Gin and Elderflower Tonic. “I’m sorry, what? It sounded like you said bag of d—”

“Dicks. I did. So, there’s this service and you can anonymously go on and type in your nemesis’ name and address. Then a few days later, they get a package in the mail. All mysterious. They open it up and it’s like a literal huge bag of edible dicks. So many dicks, they’ll go on for days. And they’re gummi right, so like do they eat them? But there are so many of them. Do they give them away? Throw them away in shame? And,” she chortled, “if you’re extra salty you can add glitter to the package.”

Tabitha hissed. “Glitter.”

“Glitter.” Meredith nodded sagely.

“Oh em gee,” Tabitha crowed. “That’s genius. Send them to the office, Josie.”

I thought of sweet and lovely Barbara opening the office mail. “Er, that’d be a no.”

“No, no, no,” Meredith said. “You always have to send it to their home address. That way they have to open it in front of their family and explain to them what they’ve done to deserve a bag of dicks.” She took another sip of martini as Tabs and I caught each other’s expression in a knowing and horrified expression.

“Tell me you haven’t sent a bag of dicks and not told us,” I directed at Meredith.

“To a married man,” Tabitha added.

Meredith hid her face back in her martini. “I didn’t know he was married, okay? Hence the bag of dicks.”

“Oh, honey.” I winced. “I’m sorry.”

“I was so ashamed, you guys. I didn’t want to tell you. I felt like such an idiot. And no one knew we’d hooked up, so I tried to just forget about it.”

“Who was it?” Tabitha asked. “You haven’t talked about anyone since that lovely guy from Cincinnati who was here—oooooh.” We both grimaced. “Yikes. I’m sorry.”

“How did you find out? I thought you guys just fizzled because of the distance? And I didn’t realize you’d … you know, done the deed before he left.”