“I said I don’t want to talk about it. And I don’t feel good. Dizzy or something. Maybe I still have that mally-thing.”

“Mal de démbarquement?”

“That. Tell him I’ve gone to bed. Tell him … goodbye. How early can we leave in the morning?”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“I know about him asking Tabitha about canceling my contract, okay? I have to resign. I can’t work for him.” I couldn’t work for him when I felt the way I did. Especially not now. Not after what happened. “I can’t.”

“Josie. Don’t do this to him.”

“To him? What about me? I don’t know what to do here. I didn’t sign up for this.” My hysteria grew. “I can’t have an affair with my boss,” I hissed with a squeak.

“Okay. So you resign. But you don’t leave.”

“Evan. God. Listen to what you’re saying. This … this is too much for me. Is that why he kept me around and didn’t fire me because he was hoping he and I could have a thing?” I cringed as the words came out.

“Fuck, no. Xavier would rather die. Jesus. You have to talk to him. It’s not my place. Just please don’t leave before you’ve talked to him.”

I knew I’d told him I wanted to talk to him, but my mind was a mess, and I felt crushingly embarrassed by what had just happened. Weak. In danger. Like I’d throw away everything I was if I stayed. I’d become his concubine. His concubine that looked after his daughter. An unpaid escort as well as a child minder. And I’d do it willingly just to feel that all again, this time with him inside me.

No. No. No. And no.

Evan cleared his throat, the look on my face clearly unsettling him.

“Please, Evan. Just promise me that if I do decide to leave, you’ll drive me.”

He let out a long breath. “Okay.”

I nodded and turned to the gangplank.

“Josie?”

“Yeah.”

“You’ve been a wonderful addition to Dauphine’s life. And a pleasure to have on the boat. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

I blinked and blew out a wobbly breath, suddenly swamped with emotion. “Me too.”

“But I’m not saying goodbye to him for you. You need to do that yourself.”