My belly felt sludgy with guilt, even though I’d done nothing wrong. “Anyway, apart from at the beach club, he’s avoiding me. I think. Or I’m avoiding him. I don’t know. Maybe both. But it’s a feat when you’re on a boat, I’ll tell you.” But then that strange touch in Dauphine’s room. What if it really was accidental? It probably was.

“I do give you credit, you know I do. But if he’s avoiding you too, then have you entertained the fact the feeling might be mutual? Maybe it’s making him uncomfortable.”

Despite the fact I was lying down, my insides seemed to drop away. “Ugh,” I moaned and covered my eyes again. “Don’t say that. I’ve never been so … aware of someone in my life. I don’t know how to explain it. And I can’t even think it might be mutual—my insides might implode.” They felt as though they were imploding right now. “If that’s the case, he’d never do anything about it. Which is … good. But, honestly, Mer. I think Evan, that’s his security guy, and Mr. P were talking about me. Maybe that’s why he’s been so distant and hot and cold. He doesn’t trust me or something.”

“He wouldn’t have you watching his daughter if that was the case.”

My teeth continued working on my lip. “True.”

“What did he say exactly?”

I thought back to the morning before the beach club after yoga when I’d passed the stateroom and heard him and Evan talking in French, convinced I’d heard my name. “I don’t know. I was sure he said my name. It was in French and I was eavesdropping. He said something about impossible. Something, something coo.”

“Coo?”

“Yeah. I know. I told you, I couldn’t really tell, but I definitely heard my name.” I thought about that night on the top deck. “And I don’t know a lot of French, but I felt like the gist was he didn’t want me around. He also says stuff in French on purpose, like he knows I won’t understand him.”

Meredith hummed. “Like what?”

“If I knew—”

“You’d know. I get it. Jeez, that’s uncomfortable. But are you okay?” she asked. “Like you’re having a nice time apart from him, right?”

“I’ve been applying for jobs and haven’t heard back, which is making me panic a bit. I’m missing working. Designing. Using my brain. I know that’s odd to say. I think Dauphine is awesome, but I feel like my brain might turn to mush. How do people lie around in the lap of luxury all day and not get bored and crazy? I’ve started doing online courses. By choice!”

“Jeez, Josie. First world problems. Haven’t you ever taken a vacation? Pretend it’s a vacation.”