“I am so sorry, Mrs. Pallister,” Sally said.

“No, do not worry, it is me, really. I think I am coming down with a touch of a cold, and—”

“You needn't make excuses,” Sally interrupted, her face rather melancholy. “It is colder than death in here and we all know it. It is just that there is something wrong with the fireplace, and I haven't gotten around to having it fixed, and—”

“Why don't I have a look at it?” Ellie said, getting to her feet.

Helen looked suddenly and extremely panicked.

“I'm not going to try to fix it,” Ellie said with an annoyed expression. “I never try to fix anything I don't know how to fix.”

Helen grimaced in such a way that Ellie knew she was dying to bring up the toast incident.

“But I do know how to recognize what is wrong,” Ellie continued. “Here, why doesn't one of you help me move this log?”

Sally got up immediately to help her, and a few seconds later Ellie was standing in the fireplace, looking up and seeing nothing. “It's dark as night in here. I say, what happens when you try to light a fire?”

“It spews black smoke everywhere,” Sally replied, handing her a lantern.

As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, Ellie looked up and saw right away that the chimney was beyond filthy. “All it needs is a thorough cleaning, in my opinion. We shall send someone over immediately to sweep it out. I am sure the earl would agree with me that—”

“I would agree with you that what?” came an amused voice from the doorway.

Ellie froze. He was not going to be pleased to find her with her head up a chimney.

“Charles!” Helen exclaimed. “What a surprise! Come over here and see—”

“I am certain I heard my lovely wife's voice,” he interrupted.

Sally replied, “She has been ever so helpful. My fireplace…”

“What?!”

Ellie winced and seriously considered crawling up.

“Eleanor,” he said sharply, “remove yourself from the fireplace this instant.”

She could see a foothold in the masonry. Just a step or two and she'd be out of sight.

“Eleanor!” Charles, not sounding amused.

“Charles, she was only—” Helen, sounding conciliatory.

“All right, I am coming after you.” Charles again, sounding even less amused, although Ellie hadn't really thought that was possible.

“Your lordship! There really isn't room.” Sally, sounding quite panicked.

“Eleanor, I will give you to the count of three.” Charles again, sounding—well, Ellie didn't really see any point in contemplating how unamused he sounded.

She meant to get out and face the music, she really did. She wasn't naturally a coward, but when he said, “One,” she froze, when he said, “Two,” she stopped breathing, and if he ever said, “Three,” she certainly didn't hear it over the blood rushing in her ears.

Then she felt him squirming into the fireplace beside her, and she suddenly located her brain again, and yelled, “Charles! What the devil are you doing?”