“Do not poke fun at my poor, beleaguered carpet. Pacing is the least of my woes. If the rest of our marriage is anything like this past fortnight, my head shall be completely gray by the time I turn thirty.”

Ellie knew that that momentous occasion was due to happen the very next day, but she didn't want to spoil the surprise party she had planned with the Pallisters, so she feigned ignorance and merely said, “I am certain that our lives will continue on a much more peaceful note now that I have made my peace with Claire.”

“I should certainly hope so,” he said, sounding rather like a disgruntled young boy. “Now then, do you want to hear my new list? I've been working all afternoon on it.”

“But of course. Should I read it or will you recite it aloud?”

“Oh, I think a recitation is in order.” He leaned forward and raised an eyebrow in a wolfish expression. “So that I might make certain each word gets its proper emphasis.”

Ellie couldn't contain her laughter. “Very well, then. Do begin.”

He cleared his throat. “‘Number One: Read to her so that she does not have to flip her own pages.’”

“Let me see that! You're making this up as you go along. You couldn't have known I was reading. And you certainly couldn't have known the trouble I was having with the pages.”

“I am merely doing a bit of editing,” he said loftily. “It's allowed, you know.”

“I'm certain it is, considering that you make up the rules as you please.”

“It is one of the few truly beneficial parts of being an earl,” he conceded. “But if you must know, number one was indeed that I read to you. I merely amended it to include the bit about flipping pages. Now then, shall I continue?” At her nod, he read, “‘Number Two: Rub her feet.’”

“My feet?!”

“Mmm, yes. Have you never had a proper foot massage?” He considered her sheltered background, then considered where he had always received foot massages and from whom, and then decided that she most probably had not. “I can assure you they are most delightful. Would you like a description? Or perhaps a demonstration?”

She cleared her throat several times. “What is the next item on the list?”

“Coward,” he accused with a smile. He stretched his arm out along the top of her bedcovers and followed the length of her leg until he found her foot. He tweaked her toe. “‘Number Three: Bring Judith by at least twice a day for a chat.’”

“That is certainly a considerably more innocent suggestion than the last.”

“I know you enjoy her company.”

“I am certainly growing intrigued by the remarkable variety of this list.”

He shrugged. “I didn't put them in any particular order. I jotted them down as they came to me. Well, except for the last, of course. I thought of that one first, but I didn't want to shock you.”